I experienced existential heartache as a child.
Unlike other children, I asked difficult questions, ones that adults didn’t even try to explain. “Why” and “how” frequently started each sentence.
At a tender age, I felt the suffering of others and the world. At night, when others were fast asleep, I was up sometimes the entire night. What kept me up was my the desire to find my life purpose and a fear of death. I thought about the world and suffering often until the morning light.
I’m not sure how this ended, and looking back, I do believe that it was through prayer and speaking to my own guardian angel.
This early life experience is something that I have never expressed until now. I share now because many are experiencing an existential crisis right now, and many have no idea why or what this is.
This time of uncertainty and upheaval has left many of us feeling isolated and alone. We might be beginning to ask some serious questions, and the fear of death and dying alone is significant. In our society, we often romanticize death with our loved ones gathered around us.
We idealize everything.
The truth is many of us may die alone, and even with loved ones close, this is a journey we must take alone.
I take solace today in the belief that God is all around, and we are never alone, at least on a spiritual level. The cosmos is on fire with life and love.
I believe as I have experienced miracles in my own life. I believe for I am open to being a witness to miracles each and every day. Every breath is a miracle, and my ability to write is a miracle in action.
When your heart is heavy, allow emotions to rise. Feel what you need and be present in this life. We all have a purpose here, and our greatest purpose is to love and be loved. Connection is the pulse and light that lifts us even when darkness feels heavy, and this my friends ends the existential pain and turns tears to dancing.
Connection to God and each other is a healing force.
Just for this moment let go of fear and all anxiety. Whisper a prayer and feel the love.
As I write this, I do not know you, yet friends, I love you.