February 8, 2022

Your 40s will be Fabulous, they Said.


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Humor finds me lately laughing at my own ridiculous experiences.

Your 40s will be fabulous, I was told. As a single woman, I was told that this is the time to come into my own and relish my own feminine deliciousness.

What they don’t tell you is that your hormones and uterus are raging and all the delish stuff that goes along with the biological sexual peaking can make you feel like you are in your second puberty. This decade has been an interesting journey in which I have had many laughs as well as tears.

Laughter has been my rescue remedy. Recently, I found myself in double appointments back-to-back—one for a sleep clinic and the other for an IUD.

In my head, these cancel each other out. I envisioned a gigantic mask being the ultimate sexual turnoff.

In the hopes of finding out if I have a sleep disorder, I had a home trial assessment and found out that I stop breathing at least eight times a night, which is above the norm (which is five times). In addition, my oxygen saturation had dropped below 80 before returning to normal.

This was not the news I hoped for to say the least. The alarm bells went off.

Who would have known?

I had no symptoms except being incredibly tired, and as a result, I was pumping my body with exercise and coffee to keep me going.

This remedy, of course, did not work, and the cortisol was rising as well as the sexual tension and hormonal raging. The result was feeling itchy, extremely grumpy, and horny as hell.

This is the strangest feeling and combination of symptoms. I was left scratching my head and hoping for some relief. I was ready to try anything.

After the trial of a CPAP machine, it is recommended that I continue with treatment, and so I am now accepting this after a week of going without the machine.

I realize that I indeed need the device. The CPAP was not what I expected; it is a like a spa device, which warms my nostrils with warm and moist hydration and lets me sink into those luxurious REM (rapid eye movement) states in which dreams are vivid and frequent.

Oxygen is needed for many things, and orgasms are one.

My 40s have been an education on self-care and self-awareness in terms of my body. I am not waxing for anyone other than myself.

My body is my sanctuary in which I need to honor letting go of restrictions and harsh exercise regimes. I have returned to dance and movement that feel natural and good. Movement that makes my spirit sing.

As women, we are hard on ourselves and other women. We judge and are not even aware of this judgement and what it does to each other or our children.

So how do we embrace our aging mature bodies and raging hormones with sweetness? This can be different for every woman.

It is more than okay to be interested in sex and have an increase in libido.

As I wait for my new IUD, I feel some liberation. This is my body and I get to chose and have control over it.

What is right for me is not right for everyone. Some say the sexual revolution has ruined things for men and women and I would disagree.

I want to be thriving in my 40s and beyond. For me, thriving is finding my own beat and marching to my own drum. Changing and challenging my own perception is critical.

I now believe that this CPAP machine will not impede my sex life; on the contrary, it will resurrect it.

I encourage you to challenge your own unhelpful thoughts regarding this stage of life. Talk to each other and lift each other up. Have a laugh and don’t forget life is a journey, and every stage has its richness.

I hope that this article was of benefit and you joined me having a few laughs.

Cheers, sweet friends.



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