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A few days ago, I shared a link to a post from Tip Hero: “15 Divorced People Share What was the Final Straw in their Marriages.” Many of my friends had something to share publicly or privately. I had something to share too.
The final straw is not the only straw.
The final straw in a toxic marriage (or long-term relationship) is a final straw following rocks and bricks, targeted to dismantle the very reason that makes life worth living: self-worth.
Many victims remain in abusive relationships for years. Some of us are privileged enough to be able to escape an abusive relationship within a short period of time.
If you’re experiencing violence or feel threatened, stop reading. Now is the time to ask for help. There are resources available.
If you’re physically safe but experience abuse in a toxic relationship, keep reading.
Don’t wait for the final straw. Don’t fear the final straw. Ending a relationship is a tough decision, but staying in a toxic one is the worst decision (in my opinion).
Why can’t you just leave? It’s not simple. But here is one of the reasons: the abuser, especially if he or she happens to be a narcissist, will make you believe that no one would love you again, that you’ll be alone and have no friends or a support system.
And no, you’ll not be alone. Yes, you might be lonely, temporarily. But what do you want: a lifetime in a toxic relationship or some time alone?
I’m not going to lie to you. It’s not going to be easy. Navigating separation and divorce is a nightmare, but nightmares eventually end.
Depression is common during separation and divorce. But here’s the good news: it’s going to be over.
According to an article I found on Healthline, “The depression that occurs due to traumatic life events such as divorce is different from clinical depression. It’s called adjustment disorder or situational depression.” While this should not be ignored, there are many ways to cope with it. Help is available.
You will find support. You will find friends, friends whom the ex disliked in an attempt to create isolation that furthers taking control and gaslighting.
And you’ll find challenges and long nights. You might face a system that’ll make it harder.
But it’s worth it. Life will be worth living again, even with all the obstacles following separation.
My final words here: if you’re in a toxic marriage, don’t fear the final straw.