February 7, 2022

Why Self-Pleasure is the Most Important Part of our Sexual Journey.


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Imagine that you had a lover, and that lover wanted to explore your body, get to know your body, caress your body.

Imagine that this lover wanted to find the ways and places you like to be touched.

Imagine that this lover wanted to look at your body, turn you this way and that way to see your curves, your valleys, the way your body curls inward to the secret places of pleasure.

Imagine that this lover wanted to hear you moan and sigh and growl and scream.

Imagine that this lover wanted to taste your body, in all the places they could, your sweat, your juices.

Imagine that this lover wanted to breathe you into them, to smell you—delicious, musky, earthy, heady, oceanic, pungent.

Imagine that this lover wanted to stroke your skin gently, squeeze you, pinch you, slap you.

Imagine that this lover wanted to stroke your body with a rope or leather—or a feather.

Imagine that this lover wanted to run you a bath with oil in it, to slowly wash your body, to take you out of the bath, dry you, rub lotion on your body.

Imagine that this lover wanted to shave you, anywhere, with a shaving brush, luxurious lather, and a sharp razor.

Imagine that this lover touched your yoni or lingam with reverence, from the top to the bottom, from the bottom to the top, all around.

Imagine that this lover wanted to blindfold you, put some slow, rhythmic music on as you sway and dance.

Imagine that this lover wanted to prepare a meal for you, something special and tasty, delectable, that you ate with your fingers, savoring each bite.

Imagine that this lover wanted you to go deep into your fantasies, into the depths of your arousal, your curiosity.

Imagine that this lover was you.

There are some really interesting things for us to think about.

In so many conversations, something emerges about the difference between sex and pleasure, orgasm and pleasure.

And we start to think about what pleasure really is.

And even when we’re on our own, all that we do is about pleasure and orgasm.

It’s not that orgasms are not pleasurable.

The way that most of us have sex, with ourselves, with a partner, or more, is about having an orgasm.

Now orgasms are fabulous; I love them.

But there is so much more.

Pleasure, energy, drawing us into the wondrous depths of sensation, of feeling.

Pleasure is an endless, limitless journey into possibility.

It’s wonder-full.

Full of curiosity, excitement, exploration, discovery.

And learning to pleasure ourselves is such an important part of this journey.

Whether we have a lover or not.

Learning to make love with—to—ourselves.

An inner journey, our hearts, our bodies.

Our sex.

Our sensuality.

Our deliciousness.

Whether we have a lover or not.

To luxuriate, to revel, to bathe in the ocean of pleasure within us that we are.

You see, when we do this, we begin to understand that pleasure and sex are not something we do: they’re what we are, who we are.

Vibrating with the pleasure of life living itself.

And in the chase of orgasm, in these few seconds of explosive contraction, that’s what we’re looking for: life. Union.

Pleasure is the way.

Life, in so many ways. So many possibilities.

Our senses.

So often we hear, we read, that it’s within us, everything we need.

It is.

It’s in our bodies, in our pleasure.

Our pleasure.

It’s not about having a lover or being in a relationship.

It’s simply, and deeply, about our pleasure.





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