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Many humans may think that this is a bad thing, being alone, but I don’t anymore.
It’s okay to be by yourself. And here’s why.
I used to think that being alone was a sentence—a bad, long-term sentence.
I used to think that I was supposed to have a man to be complete.
I used to think I couldn’t go on.
But then something happened. I realized that if I didn’t love myself, how could anyone else love me?
So, I took off on a hero’s journey—the one where you go on an adventure, address the crisis in your life, and return home to a changed person.
I learned that my relationship with myself was the most important one I’d ever cultivate and grow. Why?
Because I knew I would always be with myself, so I’d best get to know who she was. I had a desire to learn how to be comfortable being alone, not depending on a man, or anyone else for that matter. I wanted to get to know who I truly was and begin to honor and believe in myself once again.
I was feeling so lost, and then, one day, I found myself, my connection with God, my inner wisdom, divine guidance, and self-love.
I found that it was in the comfort and gentleness of my own heart, where all the love I wanted was free and waiting for me.
Divine spirit has always been with me, and we are connected as one for eternity.
When we begin learning how to love ourselves more, we become more for all the other relationships in our life too.
That was a beautiful benefit from my self-discovery journey. All my relationships improved and felt so much more authentic because I was.
Maybe you’re happily hitched or stunningly single? Great! Maybe you’re divorced, have become a single empty nester, or you’re living the dream?
No matter where you find yourself in life today, many people feel that something is missing. We tell ourselves that there must be more to life than this.
Life’s circumstances and seasons can often leave us feeling so alone, separated, or lost in our world. I hear you. It sucks, and it’s a really hard place to be.
Celebrating Love in an Unconventional Way
So what happens when that special “love” day of the year rolls around?
Valentine’s Day for many of us is a depressing, lonely, unfulfilled day, driving us to self-soothe in a field of denial and self-loathing because we don’t have a partner.
When Valentine’s Day comes around every February, some people want to go hide in a cave because they may be feeling unlovable.
What if we choose to make it a day when we fall in love with ourselves?
Valentine’s Day can become a day to celebrate all the love that we are, no matter our “status.”
There are endless ways that we can express love to ourselves every day. And this, my friend, is the best gift we can give to ourselves: time.
Honoring the most important relationship we’ll ever have is the one we have with ourselves. We can do something special that feeds our soul—that feels downright decadent.
I’ve often enjoyed the following ideas, and I hope you find at least one that resonates with you to give yourself the love you deserve. Not only on Valentine’s Day, but every day, where you take a moment for yourself because you deserve it.
1. Create a fabulous meal with some delicious wine while playing your favorite music.
2. How about taking that lavender bath with candles while putting on some relaxing Zen tunes to just drift away and dream of your delightful future?
3. Unplug from all electronics for 24 hours or just for the evening. Revel in the peacefulness of your surroundings.
4. Take a long stroll in nature and listen to the sounds of tiny miracles all around you.
5. Celebrate with the friends with whom you have meaningful connections.
6. Stay at home, create a peaceful Zen environment, journal, write your heart out, and then celebrate!
7. Talk on the phone with a good friend or family member and really connect heart to heart.
8. You deserve to do a happy dance all by yourself if you want to. Put on some rock ‘n’ roll or whatever makes you feel alive, and dance, dance, dance! (Dancing, by the way, is great for a nervous-system reset and can make us feel so much better after a few songs.)
These are just a few ideas to allow you to practice falling in love with every part of your imperfections, your graceful, sweet, messy self, and love it all.
You are Made for More
Working through the trauma of divorce, becoming an empty nester, feeling alone, blue, depressed, and pretty much hopeless are the hardest lessons I’ve ever had to learn, but it has made me so much more.
You are made for more. The tides have changed now. No feeling is forever. So embrace the love space you are in at the moment and relish the adventure—all the highs and lows.
A return to love within feels so much better than longing to be loved in a relationship that’s not loving you. (I know, I used to be there.)
Know that you’re never alone and that this day and every day can feel special in so many new ways than you may be accustomed to. You just have to keep on going and keep on trying—because you will get there.
Bring yourself flowers, dance on the rooftop, eat the best chocolate ever, as often as you desire!
Whatever brings you joy and a smile in your heart, do it every day.
When you honor the most important relationship in your life—the one with yourself—life can be more beautiful than ever!
You are amazing, and you are loved. He (the divine spirit, great spirit, infinite source) goes with you wherever you go.
You are never alone.
Wipe those tears and get on with your one and only wild, priceless life.
Peace, harmony, love, and happiness is mine and the world’s.