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With the sadness, isolation, and loneliness that have occured for many of us during the COVID-19 lockdown, there seems to be a trend of state of mind regarding manifestation and the Law of Attraction (LOA), which has now increased its popularity amongst people of various ages and backgrounds across the world.
As I look amongst my usual YouTube scrolling, listening to the vast amount of LOA coaches, spiritual gurus, and life coach mentors, there seems to be one statement that everyone follows that is becoming a toxic trend: not knowing when to give up.
Now I’m not talking about giving up on our dreams or aspirations, although we all need to be realistic with the skill set we have and what we can realistically do with it.
As I scrolled through videos and videos of “You can get your ex back no matter what,” “Circumstances don’t matter,” “How to make him beg for you,” and “You’re so close, he’s going to contact you,” it actually saddened me to see the desperation—the heartbreaks—when I scrolled through the comments section.
People who are hurt are holding onto this tiny, fragile piece of thread. I thought to myself, where does this stop?
All LOA coaches and gurus have an obligation to express that sometimes in life things don’t always work out—for so many reasons. Maybe the other person is not on the same path or vibration as us, or we have more healing to do, or we could be destined to be separated, probably for the better.
The false hope these videos give is toxic.
Like when a teenager, for example, is heartbroken over her first breakup from her boyfriend (who might have treated her badly), and after two years of trying to manifest her ex back, she comes to an LOA coach for help. There comes a point when this false hope these coaches are portraying becomes terrible for this teenager’s mental health.
Sometimes it’s not going to work out; it doesn’t matter how many rituals, or affirmations, or constant videos are directing us to not give up, ever, on this person, it’s really stressful and can be traumatic and overbearing in our daily life.
There has to be some sort of guidance that there is a time when we need to let go because sadly, some things in life cannot be reversed; we cannot change someone’s mind or feelings, no matter how hard we’ve visualized or listened to that meditation video.
Then, if something doesn’t work out, there’s this heavy burden on the person’s mind and soul that they’ve done something wrong with their LOA work. Maybe they missed something, didn’t visualise hard enough, or didn’t script well enough. It all becomes a toxic guilt trip for this person who is in an extremely fragile state of mind.
Sometimes rejection is hard for people. Especially for the ones with low self-esteem, it is easy to become depressed and feel victimised. They might think that something is wrong with them. It must be why the ex is not coming back, or maybe the universe or God doesn’t love us enough because they’re not giving us what we want while we know that we should get what we want for all the hard work we’ve been putting in.
I feel it’s so important for our mental health to not watch the videos that declare we shouldn’t give up on a specific person no matter how much they hurt us—that how they treated us doesn’t matter.
We have to be realistic, especially with a younger audience, that at some point, we do have to give up because certain things may not be good for us—but we don’t see it right now. We have been tricked into believing that we can change someone’s personality, heart, or mind, and if one manifestation practice doesn’t work, then they can sign up to pay for a “package course” to remove their “blockages.”
This is bullsh*t. This is toxic.
I feel really sorry for those brokenhearted people. I also put all my faith, hope, and belief that the LOA videos were going to get someone back, but it was too dangerous for my mind.
I spent hours and hours listening to affirmations, feeling so content and good; I was absolutely sure he was coming back and he was the one, but every time I spoke to him, he was so nasty to me.
Then I would blame myself that I didn’t do something right with my LOA work; I didn’t believe enough, but it was not true. He just wasn’t for me; he was actually terrible for me…why would manifestation change him? It just wouldn’t. That’s who he is and that’s his soul journey—not mine to change him.
The hard truth was…he just didn’t care about me.
At the end of the day, it all came down to my self-worth. It was up to me, on my own terms, when I was supposed to walk away; it was me who said goodbye. At some point, we have to be realistic with ourselves and realize when we’re destroying our self-worth and respect and putting ourselves down.
Remember, you are the one in control. That’s where your power lies.
We should never jeopardize our self-worth over some videos shallowing our value, convincing us to keep trying until we end up hating ourselves and missing out on real life. We simply miss out on what is in front of us while our head is stuck on these desperate videos.
If we let go, we can’t miss on anything that is meant for us.
We can’t f*ck up anything that is meant for us.
Please, my friend, trust in yourself and let go.