We can’t help someone if that person has the intention to heal themselves. No matter how hard we encourage them, but they don’t want to, it’s useless. No matter how sincere our intentions are to help them but they themselves don’t want to try for themselves then it will be useless.

Some time ago I met someone. At that time I asked him why he wanted to know me. Lonely. Whenever someone says that to me, somehow my intuition tells me that there is something deeper than that. There must be something wrong which will eventually emerge over time.

When I first met him, he told me that he did all these things just because he wanted to make other people happy. Somehow at that moment I felt that everything must be more complicated than what he told me. And over time, he told me that in the past many people have hurt him and without him knowing it, it’s traumatized him.

I have to admit, he is someone who is smart and highly educated even more than me. There are many things that make us often end up arguing and his stubborn nature makes it difficult for him to admit something even though it’s true.

We talked for a few months and at the time he was studying to take an exam for a job. He is still very young and even I believe that he will be able to succeed and achieve his dreams because I know he is smart and determined.

I still remember clearly when he cried because his father was hospitalized suddenly because of heart attack. I still remember how tired, sad and miserable he was when all that happened. At that time I was still talking to him, strengthening, supporting and encouraging him.

Until after it was all over, somehow suddenly he started to keep his distance from me, slowly stay away from me. But I never asked him anything. I always think that sometimes there are situations where a person wants to be alone and doesn’t want to be disturbed so I always respect that.

Until one time, I was the one who had a problem at that time and I decided to disappear but before that I told him he could still reach me, he knew where he could find me.

We stopped talking for a few months until when he saw my post about my dad, he suddenly reached me again. I’m still the same as before, never changed. He asked me why I disappeared suddenly and he lost track of me. He couldn’t find me while all this time I could always find out how he was, it’s just that I never reached him, I only watched him from a far.

As long as we stopped talking, I thought everything was fine and I thought that he had ended up with a much better life. I’m not someone who forgets other people easily, it’s just that I know that when the time comes for us to part ways then I will never bother them again or interfere in their lives again.

What I didn’t expect and the things that really surprised me was that when we spoke again, he shared with me his life after we stopped talking. I never thought that his life would be so much worse than before we met and this time even he is really at his lowest point until he can’t save himself.

He even told me that he had repeatedly attempted suicide because of the stress, frustration and all the suffering he was going through.

I was really sad when I talked to him. I couldn’t even hold back my tears while talking to him and I asked him to heal himself, slowly get back to his sense, fix the mistakes he had made and never give up. I even said that if he wanted to start all over again, I would help him heal himself. He also said that when he was with me at that time, it was the happiest time for him.

It’s just that humans are still humans, everyone has their own flaws. No one would say that being able to do that would be easy. It takes a long process, a long time and a strong intention to be able to make all of that happen.

The sad thing is that he gave up, lost with the circumstances and what saddens me is that we can’t agree because there are things I don’t agree with while he needs it because of his addiction.

At the end of our conversation, I told him the same thing that I am still the same and I will still help him if one day he changes his mind, wants to lower his ego and has the intention to heal himself. On that day I knew that I wouldn’t be able to do anything because his intention to change wasn’t that strong. I even told him that although millions of people sincerely wanted to help him heal himself but as long as he had no intention of healing himself then all of that would be of no use.

There was someone who told me that maybe I just overreacted, cared too much and worried about him. What if that person was in the same situation and heard that other people thought that way about them? Wouldn’t it be very painful to hear all that while maybe he did need help but he already felt himself helpless and pathetic.

All I know that now I can only pray for him that he will find his way again, hopefully he will get back to his senses and he will never give up and want to go back to fix his life. If only I didn’t know him deeply, didn’t know his personality, I wouldn’t worry about him to that extent. I’m sad to see someone so young and able to have such a brilliant life but end up like that.

Life is never easy and there is always a reason why God gave him such problems for his story. I realize that sometimes it’s hard to get back up from a really complicated problem. I really hope he doesn’t give up and may God give him guidance.