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When I was 14 years old, I had my first boyfriend.
It was an awkward time in my life, as I was going through puberty and was just beginning to “develop.” The first boy I dated was the most popular guy at my overnight camp—a talented, waterskiing enthusiast, a stunning blond-haired, blue-eyed specimen, and he made all the girls swoon.
He approached me one day out of the blue and simply asked, “Will you go around with me, Stephanie?”
I chuckled at his question. Go around? This was how the boys asked the girls out in the mid-80s. We dated for a month, and then he dumped me for the most popular blond-haired, blue-eyed girl. At the time, I was crushed, but I got over it fairly quickly.
Since then, I’ve dated quite a number of different characters. All of them had some truly admirable qualities—but for the most part, they weren’t for me in the long run.
Here are the eight different types of men I’ve dated and dumped in my history:
1. The Sports Freak
This type of fellow talks about sports every moment of every day, owns many team jerseys, never misses any of the major sporting events, drinks beer, and is loud and boisterous. Sure, it’s admirable to see someone so dedicated to their favorite teams, but some boys go way over the top, and to me, it can be a little much.
Balance is key—and these boys seemingly only care about one thing. In my humble opinion, their attention spans are lacking and they have “tunnel vision”—they only pay attention to the things that truly interest them, and are indifferent when it comes to other more important elements.
I dated a sports freak for two years. He was a dedicated football and baseball fan. Sometimes, he would watch sports on TV all day, and forget I was even in the room.
2. The Workaholic
I truly appreciate a man’s work ethic. If one is passionate about their work, I totally support putting all of one’s efforts into creating a successful career path. However, when it becomes a seven-day-a-week obsession, that’s where I have to draw the line.
I dated a man for five years who was a workaholic. As time progressed, I became less and less of a priority in his life. Needless to say, we broke up because of his refusal to accommodate me in our relationship. We simply stopped going out on dates. That should’ve been my warning signal early on.
Despite being crushed at the time, I knew that this type of man couldn’t be changed no matter how hard I wished for things to be different.
3. The Quiet, Shy One
I am an extrovert by nature. I love to talk. I am a leader. I love to help people.
I dated a man who was my polar opposite for many months and let me tell you, it was extremely challenging for me. This fellow didn’t even like small talk. He had a small family and they also were “quiet and mousy.” Cute, but only for a short while.
I find shy men quite endearing, actually. I love seeing grown men blush. But if you aren’t going to converse in a relationship, especially with a gal who speaks for a living, then it’s probably best for you to stay single.
Just sayin’. Moving on…
4. The Dealer
Not that there’s anything wrong with it, especially in this day and age, but I dated a few boys who sold marijuana to make ends meet. I understand that it can be a lucrative money-making venture if one has to pay their rent, but for me, I disliked the lifestyle. Some of the people I came into contact with were unusual and awkward. Not my cup of tea, in the least.
I’m certainly not knocking selling weed to pay your bills, folks. Do your thing. But after dating a few dealers, I knew these connections would “go up in smoke.”
On to the next.
5. The Flirt
Hey, I don’t have any issues with harmless, innocent flirtation when you’re single that doesn’t lead to sex. But if you’re in a serious relationship with someone and you blatantly flirt in their face and do it often, then don’t be loyal to just one person. It’s so uncouth when I see or hear married men (or women, for that matter) making overt suggestions to people other than their mates.
I dated a few boys who enjoyed flirting like it was a spectator sport. Granted, these men were insanely attractive, muscular, always looked and smelled good, and talked a really good game. Frankly, I found it unattractive and unbecoming.
Might I suggest: choose your mates wisely. If the person you’re dating is a mega-flirt, just be watchful. You may not want to remain in a relationship like this for too long—because chances are, it’s not going to have much staying power and/or it might make you angry. Save yourself from unnecessary aggravation.
6. The Sex-Driven One
This one is pretty straightforward, am I right? Sure, these relationships are “hot to trot” for a while, but then what? There’s more to life than just sex. Seriously.
I’m not at all opposed to someone enjoying regular sexual intercourse—but if it completely overrides a relationship and other key elements are ignored, it’s not looking good for the future. I crave balance and variety. Mixing it up is what I live for.
If sex is the only thing that matters, I don’t want any part of it.
Onward and upward.
7. The Man’s Man
I dated a few guys that were adamant about spending lots of time with “the guys.”
Of course, I welcomed that! But when I became more of a passing thought with some of the men I dated, I realized I would never be as important to them as their male friends.
Hey, that’s cool. I just don’t want to be a part of any man’s life who doesn’t want me in theirs. Period.
8. The Submissive One
Do you know the expression, “Grow a pair?”
I have a dominant personality (I am born under the sign of the bull). My fellow Taurus peeps can attest: we are attracted to strong, loyal, outspoken, stubborn types, as well.
Submissive boys are super cute, let me tell you. But for me, I love someone who’s more assertive, confident, able to calm me down when I get riled up, someone who will challenge me, and isn’t afraid to speak his mind.
I’ve dated a few weaklings in my day, but over time, I became less and less attracted to them. I’m not suggesting that submissive men aren’t capable or don’t possess any skills, talents, or strengths. I’m just not into them.
There you go.
Maybe some of you can relate to some of these types of men.
None of the types of men I’ve outlined here are inherently bad or naughty, they simply aren’t to my liking, is all.
If anything, I hope this list made some of you smile and simply say, “Yes, I can relate!”
Happy dating, my readers, and always take care of you.