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March 11, 2022

A Message to My Next Lover; We Are Not Broken.

Photo by Hernan Pauccara on Pexels.

To the next man I allow to love me: we are not broken; let’s not try to fix each other.”

I have traveled many roads; dark, desolate, and alone. I have spent many nights cradled in my darkness, embraced by my thoughts. There were times I was only accompanied by silence and deafening heartache. I have swum in the shallows of desperate lovers only to drown in the depths of their damage. I looked for you, inside others. Maybe you have looked for me also? I dreamed of nights where we shared the same moon underneath the same stars, making our way to each other when it was time for us to meet again.

You should know, I was built to love. My energy radiates a warmth you will feel standing within inches of me. I am built to keep you safe; it is not me you will have to fear; it is only yourself. We may act like mirrors next to each other. Reflecting similarities and highlighting each other’s shadows. We will stare deeply into the windows of our souls many times, maybe even possibly losing pieces of ourselves and adding some that we do not recognize. This could be worrisome at first, but if you take this road with me, I will be the light you searched for when you were trapped in your darkness. My only request is that you are strong enough to reciprocate this gesture. Do NOT awaken my heart if you are NOT prepared to feed my soul.

We are not broken; let’s not try to fix each other.

Like me, you may have fine lines of devastation and pain trailing the most inner parts of yourself. You may face a battle every day, protected by the armor around you that you have used to keep the forces from penetrating your heart. While this has served you in the past, it is time to shed that; together. Promises are fickle, and I will not make them. But when I say I will not attempt to fix you, I mean it. You are not broken; you are perfectly imperfect. While you sail away in the oceans of emotional trials you experience, your heart is learning to breathe again; I want to be the wind that guides you. I crave to be the glittering glue that helps mold the pieces of your soul that may have openings. But you are not broken, and my dear; neither am I.

You see, We are beings that have made a profound choice in this life. We have chosen to feel. The parts of us that we didn’t have access to will show themselves when love begins to enter through the slivers of our safeties. When we become aware of the invader, it will be too late. Life will have already begun to awaken in our dormant depth. Fear me not, for it is not me who will cause destruction; it would be you. I will not fear you; because the destruction would also be mine. I imagine that if we release the want to control the path, that we will embark together with guidance. So maybe we let go; before we have the desperation to try to hold on.

While we begin to take each other’s hands and dance, I will not follow your lead. I will relinquish my need to make you follow mine as well. I will allow the beating of our hearts to conduct their silent symphony while our bodies effortlessly intertwine themselves. I plan to let the universe continue to write our song among the galaxies until our breath ceases to keep our living bodies existing.

I can imagine there will be days that our pain will awaken. But I will not be the one that brings that to life, and neither will you within me. We will both be brave and stand together while owning every cut that bleeds through. While I lift your head towards the sky, I trust you will also remember not to leave mine hanging. Although we will be united as one, we may have to take on some fights separately. Knowing that when we return home from war, either one of us will be waiting to suture the wounds together and nurture the other back to health.

We must never take from each other’s resources what the other cannot provide. I will not drain you because anything I require, I can provide on my own. This will leave me consistently full so that I may pour quickly into your cup what I have on overflow. I have to say my love; from you, I expect the same. On the days we are tired from navigating life, we can find places to recharge and silence the world together.

I was built to love you in ways you will never find within another. I made this possible by loving myself while no one else dared to. I am a strong woman; You must be a powerful man. I exist merely to share the world with you. Together we will walk parallel being careful to not ever tread over the other. When the night falls, and the darkness creeps in, I have a light to offer that you must not dim. We will remind each other who we are in the moments we cannot recognize our reflections. Together we will set the world on fire and remind the sun why it leaves every day to allow the moon to shine. Our love will rewrite the stories told between lovers.

“We were never broken; just merely pieces existing separately waiting to complete each other”

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