When I was a little girl, I had a ton of gal pals.
I look at pictures of myself in my youth and I can’t help but smile when I see how content I was, arm-in-arm with my “squad.”
In my teens, cultivating solid friendships became more of a chore for me. Some of the girls with whom I chose to hang out were way too judgmental, abrasive, and insensitive. I can remember two girls specifically who were constantly backstabbing others and speaking negatively about every aspect of their lives. I started to question my morals: why was I associating with these catty girls? What benefit did it serve me?
I realized a little too late that these girls showed toxic traits. In fact, I can recall many instances when I would actually lose sleep and have awful stomachaches before school because I was dreading seeing these girls on a daily basis. It was really hard for me to break ties in my teens, and creating new friendships became such a challenging task.
Fast-forward into adulthood, and I’m sure most people can attest: friendships are hard to maintain, especially with girls. I can’t believe how many women have come in and out of my life in the last two decades alone.
There are five types of women who have entered and exited my life, and I got rid of them because their personalities and views completely clashed with mine. I shudder to think that if I didn’t have the mental fortitude to part ways, I still would’ve kept them “on the sidelines.” Screw that!
When your body gives you signals, you’d better be paying attention.
Here are the five types of girls you really should avoid if you want to maintain your sanity and preserve your well-being:
1. The Princess
Ah, the classic princess! In my teens, I was surrounded with these types of girls. You can just hear the nagging twang of their voices, the incessant moaning, the bitching about the unfairness of life—and I still cringe whenever I hear it. I cannot begin to tell you how annoying and nauseating it is for me…and it’s everywhere.
Before I married my husband, he told me that he used to only date princesses in his younger years. I still marvel at how he tolerated that vapid crap from women. But amazingly, he traded up—because I’m the polar opposite of every characteristic that a princess possesses. (Thank goodness for that.)
Stay away from these (maybe) flaky, whiny, empty-headed, insecure women. They offer zero value to a relationship. They simply suck the energy out of us, and frankly, no one needs that.
2. The “Holier-Than-Thou” Gal
I used to have a couple of friends who came from wealthy backgrounds, and they would often flaunt their status in people’s faces. It infuriated me because they didn’t have a single ounce of humility or know when to shut up. The fact that I used to allow this type of woman into my sphere is perplexing—but now I know better.
If you have a friendship that makes you feel like you’re in a constant competition or you feel “less than,” get out while you can. Women who feel like they’re better than you or have more to offer than you do may be missing something integral in their lives: a humble heart and a kind, generous nature. Make sure you surround yourself with positive, enlightening, and loving girls who accept you for everything that you are.
3. The “Downer”
Do you have a friend who is always dumping on every single, solitary thing about life?
This type of gal is likely missing more than just one key element in her world, and she feels best when she unloads all her garbage onto you. And let me tell you, if you get enough trash thrown your way, that stuff is gonna reek.
Similar to the princess, the downer feels best when they are validated and nurtured by another downer. Birds of a feather, flock together. I’m a happy-go-lucky kind of person, and I did have a few “downer” friends in my day, but I quickly discovered that these types are absolutely poisonous for your soul.
They have nothing to offer other than the occasional shoulder to cry on when you’re having an “off” day. Other than that, stay away from these girls and save yourself time and aggravation.
4. The Cruel One
The bully. The sovereign, outspoken, brazen, bossy b*tch. The type who will “rip you a new one” if you accidentally cross them.
Don’t get yourself tangled up with cruel women. I used to have a friend who was “sweet as pie” when things were going swimmingly but quickly became an evil witch when things went slightly awry. Would you believe that I kept her around for many years?
You live, you learn.
I remember the day that I got up the gumption to tell her that our friendship was officially over. She swore at me one last time and then I unapologetically said, “Good riddance!”
Days after our “breakup,” I felt like a massive weight was lifted off my back. In retrospect, I should’ve broken our ties sooner—but hindsight is always 20/20, isn’t it?
5. The Fake
Lucky for me, I can spot fake people fast. Fake girls usually believe they can pull the wool over your eyes, but if you know what to watch out for, you can escape virtually unscathed.
These girls are usually two-faced, lying, greasy manipulators—and they don’t belong in anyone’s good graces.
Your body and soul will indicate when you are in the presence of a fake person: you will feel uneasy in their presence, you’ll cringe when you hear them spew their rhetoric, and you’ll probably wish for them to have people in their life who truly understand them and have the energy to hold space for them.
Fake people are all around us, so stay alert and weed these folks out of your life.
If you feel uncomfortable at all or your body is sending you unfavorable signals, just walk away. Don’t feel badly about turning your back on these people (admittedly, they need a dose of reality). Your real, genuine, loving friends are going to have your back—not speak badly about you behind it. To have a good friend is to be a good friend.
Choose your friends wisely because they are a true reflection of you. The right women will always make you feel empowered, loved, and genuinely cared for. They will honor you, respect you, and hold a special place in their heart for you.
That’s the type of gal I want in my life.
And now, I’ve got such a beautiful group of gals in my world who will be on my team for a lifetime. I am grateful beyond measure that these women exist, and I will nurture these friendships forever.
Sometimes it takes time to find your true squad, but when you do, hold on tight; they’re the ones who will be by your side through thick and thin.