April 3, 2022

Erectile Dysfunction is not the Elephant in the Room. {Adult}

When someone tells you that they know someone with, let’s say, brain cancer, their reaction is never nearly as drastic as when someone tells you they know someone who has erectile dysfunction (ED).

Brain cancer: “Oh, that is so bad, I am sorry.”

Impotence: “Oh my god, really? What is he gonna do?”

Maybe I am being a bit exaggerated, but it isn’t much different.

Our bodies suffer attacks from many different sources—the environment, the foods that we eat, our emotional condition, aging, illnesses, and a hundred other things. And when we experience issues, we simply go to the doctor or go in the medicine cabinet and receive the help we need.

Problem solved. We move on.

So, I don’t understand why ED has become “a thing” to the point that men are made to feel “less than” over something that is even more common than the flu. Something that up to 52 percent of men experience to some degree; only 15 percent of people get the flu.

There are medicines that we readily accept for everything known to man. Migraine? Medicine. Heart condition? Medicine. Depression? Medicine. Restless Leg Syndrome? Medicine. And just like those few examples, we see another thousand medications on TV constantly to help all types of ailments that we never even stop to question.

But here comes erectile dysfunction and everyone loses their mind! People immediately label men as “inadequate,” or the one that kills me, “impotent”—as in powerless, or weak, or as if they are not man enough. And I am mad about it.

Okay, here it is: Erectile dysfunction in a majority of cases is simply caused by a lack of blood circulation due to many different reasons from anxiety, to smoking, to heart conditions, to stress, to depression, to our aging process, or even relationship issues, or undue pressure from our sex partner. That is it!

Men with erectile dysfunction have just as much sexual desire and arousal as any other man. There is (in most cases) just one reason they suffer from it: poor circulation. It doesn’t mean you are less of a man at all.

I was going to say, “I suffer from it,” but that is the wrong wording…I have experienced erectile dysfunction, and in the beginning, it concerned me because I was ignorant. So I did my research, and honestly, it was a lot simpler than I had gotten myself all worried about.

After months of research, I can say that there are two great solutions for the average case of ED. One is to have a supportive partner who helps you relax and is willing to work with you and reduce stress or anxiety. This will, in many cases, allow you to overcome it, but it is likely that you will still need a little help (which comes with amazing fringe benefits), and that is the second solution. A miracle pill (like most pills are—miracles of science) that you take like you do when you have a headache or allergies. It is no different!

Did you ever stop to think, how the hell does aspirin know I have pain and it goes to that spot and takes it away? The ED pills are the same; they only stimulate circulation when sexually aroused (and don’t worry; you won’t have an erection while you order dinner at Panera for your date).

Does it work? Hell yes, it works! And unlike people say, it stays in your system for at least 12 hours, so you can enjoy hours of conversation, making out, dinner, movies, and still be able to have a great time sexually. I take mine about 20 minutes before.

It is important to get out of your head with the “what ifs.” Don’t worry—let it do its thing! Everything works exactly as it has always worked. Do not make it into something and overthink it or beat yourself up about it.

By age 65, many men have this issue, and they resolve it easily. Do not let pride or ego get in your way. It is a pill just like aspirin—like any other remedy.

And there are some additional advantages. The best one being that your erections are stronger and more frequent than normal; they last longer.  In some cases, you may take longer to ejaculate, but isn’t that what women have really had an even bigger gripe with forever? Premature ejaculation? So there!

Insurance covers this medication but in small quantities; however, there are many legal websites where you can pay for it at a discount and receive it in the mail—after a short consultation with a medical professional.

Please remember, this is my advice from my personal experience, but I have done a lot of research to make sure I understood the issue. ED, in my opinion (and I am going to use that stupid term they use in politics), “is a nothing burger”—an inconvenience like running out of milk or forgetting to take out the trash. Totally fixable.

Now, for the sake of disclosure, this doesn’t mean there can’t be more serious ED conditions. These ED cases can come from serious medical conditions like diabetes or severe emotional trauma, and still, those are also not a sign that you are less of a man, weak, or inadequate; they just mean your body is not working correctly. In some people, it manifests itself with things like your legs being weak, or your back hurting; in others, it comes in the form of ED.

Fortunately, there are sex therapists and other medical and psychology professionals who offer solutions to help.

So, what have we learned? That there is no reason at all to feel diminished or embarrassed. As a matter of fact, if you talk to your friends about it, that helps even more (yes, your chat group with your buddies from high school and your close friends because there is no reason to hide it or be ashamed of it!). I guarantee you in a group of 10, four others besides you are experiencing it also.

So take it easy, embrace it, and feel zero shame. You are going to be just fine!



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