Austen is a classic and yet many have yet to read her brilliant words, particularly the younger generation and men. I am an avid fan and I know there are many women out there who pause and think “What would Jane do”?

Austen was ahead of her time and still very relevant today. We can learn about life and love by reading her works.

If you are new to Jane Austen please stay with me I guarantee you will find something valuable in this piece.

The following is a dialogue between two sisters Elinor and Marianne. When I feel the sting from lost love I return to Austen’s writing and find solace  and insight like no other. The romantic failings and lessons are timeless and as relevant as they day they were written. My hope is that someday my own words will be as moving and helpful for others.

I wrote this a week ago while reflecting on lost love or love that never was and would never come to be. The relationship opened up some old wounds.

Rejection often does this.

Take a deep breath before reading this and imagine an older, wiser sister speaking lovingly to her younger sister.

“It is very true. My happiness never was his object”

“At present,” continued Elinor, “he regrets what he has done. And why does he regret it?–Because he finds not answered towards himself. It has not made him happy. His circumstances are now unembarrassed–he suffers from no evil of that kind; and he thinks only that he has married a woman of a less amiable temper than yourself. But does it follow that had he married you, he would have been happy?-

Sense and Sensibility Chapter 47

Today tears spilled over as I listened to a friend cry over the phone expressing her pain regarding lost love.

In a instant I was flooded with memories.

Following, the words of Jane Austen found a way into my mind and heart.

In “Sense and Sensibility ”poor Willoughby chooses a woman who has money over love.

The themes of this classic and other classics by Jane Austin mirror the very lives we live today.

This is why they are classics.

Today listening to my friend share her heart my own heart ached. In discussion I brought up Jane Austin. In conversation with my friend discussing Austin made us feel heard and validated. Her stories are parallel often to our own lives.

This conversation led me to reflect back to my last relationship. Four years ago I too received similar feedback from my baby sister.

Heartbroken I sat in my sister’s kitchen as her words washed over me.

“You will be his biggest life regret” my sister offered as tears took over my body and I sobbed.

If you love someone you don’t want to be a regret I assure you.

Such sentiments like those offered by Elinor and my sister are meant to soothe and yet they sting.

The truth is when relationships end there are no winners only heartbreak and lessons.

Love brings us together and money and practicality can tare us apart.

My friend over the phone says “ I just want him to regret not having me “ I sigh and gulp. The timing of when two people meet is often off.

Partnering is all about timing after all.

In this moment I wish I could take my friend’s heartache from her and fill her heart with love.

Romantic love is complicated.

Often we pine for what we can’t have or what was never meant to be because we believe that in a perfect world everything would work out.

Stars would align and seas would part for lovers.

In a perfect world soulmates mate for life.

Love isn’t sensical and hearts ache and break and go on. We feel and we imagine a lifetime with a person we love and yet often the reality is that somethings are destined to be just a spark and nothing less right from the beginning.

Real life is complicated.

Real life is messy and humans are raw and edgy with imperfections.

Four years ago I replied to my sister “ I wish only love for him”. My partner and I over the period of five years had tried to mesh and become a unit.  We went up against everything that could pull us apart. In the end it was actions that spoke to my heart or lack thereof.

Still I wished only love. This is why “ Sense and Sensibility” will always break my heart. We all make decisions regarding matters of the heart and we live with them for a lifetime.

Still I say at the end of life let me remember love.