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Limiting beliefs—everyone has them.
They impact our lives in many ways, and the truth is, your real-life superhero has their own limiting beliefs just like you. This article by Melissa Steussy on Elephant Journal explains limiting beliefs.
The thing about limiting beliefs is we often can’t recognise how they are driving our lives until we make a conscious connection that something in our lives is not aligning with our deepest desires.
A core value of mine is love. I love to love, and I love to be loved. However, in the past, I have endured a deep limiting belief that I was unlovable. This belief would show up when a lover wasn’t able to commit to the relationship I deeply desired. The behaviour that I would display would be to get really angry with them, and sulk for a few days. The pattern I would loop into would be seeking external validation that I was loveable. My “lover” would give me bread crumbs but this was enough for me, because the entire scenario fed into the belief that I was not loveable.
This is a classic example of what I like to call the limiting belief behaviour and pattern loop.
When we have a limiting belief, we exhibit behaviours that feed our belief and we create a pattern of confirmation bias that loops us to believe our limiting belief.
For example: I am unlovable (belief) + anger and sulking (behaviour) + seeking external validation (pattern) = confirmation bias and looping.
As obvious as this scenario seems, I had no idea I was looping a belief that I was unlovable because for many years it was unconscious.
Here are 10 ways you can become conscious of your limiting beliefs and how you can break the loop:
1. Become curious
It is normal not to know what your limiting beliefs are; start by getting curious. Notice how you react in certain situations. Take note of your thoughts. Where are you overly critical or judgmental? When do you feel out of control or overwhelmed? When are you calm and making clear and concise decisions? Curiosity doesn’t require action, it is simply noticing.
2. Gain a willingness to get to know you
In my experience, getting to know yourself better than ever before can mean coming face-to-face with some aspects of ourselves that we may not be proud of. The truth is, if you are not willing to become aware of these aspects, they will keep rearing their ugly heads. Thank you, universe! The willingness to get to know you will empower you to dispel your limiting beliefs, behaviours, and patterns.
Awareness is the scissors that cut the loop that feeds your limiting belief. Awareness supports you to recognise the confirmation bias so you can make conscious choices that benefit you (sans limiting beliefs!).
4. Check your language
Words are spells, hence the word spelling. When you get curiously willing to become aware of who you are, you start to notice your language. This includes the words you are using toward yourself and others. How you judge others is how you judge yourself, so check your language.
5. Invest in support that is right for you
This is support that will lovingly guide you to become aware of your limiting beliefs and the associated behaviours and patterns that are keeping you stuck. Your girlfriends are brilliant at listening to you but they are likely not so good at showing you your limitations. (Shout out to the besties who see your amazingness more than your limitations.)
A coach can be a great investment that will support you to create achievable and motivating goals that align with creating a positive belief system that empowers you to live a life you love—all whilst experiencing your deepest desires.
6. Be kind to yourself
When you begin to become aware of your limiting beliefs, it is absolutely okay for you to not like what you see. This may bring up other limiting beliefs that are associated with shame and or guilt. The right support can help to make sure you don’t loop into new limiting beliefs, and enable you to be kind to yourself as you transform limitations.
Forgiving yourself and others will create the space for you to experience your deepest desires and live a life you love. Harbouring resentment toward others is harming you, not them. Forgive them and yourself, and watch the love flow to you freely.
8. Using tools to support you
There are an array of tools and resources that are out there to support you through this process. These include affirmations and mirror work. The late Louise Hay is the pioneer of the beautiful Mirror Work practice.
Two affirmations you can start with: I am Enough. I am me.
9. Be okay with where you are at
Your limiting beliefs are likely associated with perceptions of who you think you should be. These are often passed on to us from family, society, teachers, friends, lovers. It is important to know that you are enough just as you are.
10. Have fun
Going deep into aspects of ourselves that may cause us to cringe doesn’t exactly sound fun. You are human and every human on this planet has limiting beliefs. Always remember that you are enough, and you absolutely can have fun, be spiritual, and experience your deepest desires, and live a life you love all at the same time. So ramp up those belly laughs and have some fun.
You are making a commitment to yourself and a conscious decision to release your limiting beliefs. What you find out about yourself does not make you less than or not good enough. You are not your limiting beliefs. You are a divine unique being whose essence radiates through the universe, and you deserve to live a life you love in this lifetime.