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May 11, 2022

I have found peace without Love, with Love.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.

We have all been “in love.” That Love that envelops our minds and bodies inflames our hearts. That kind of Love sets your soul flying, and you can walk on clouds because the weight on your shoulders has disappeared. Most of us have also experienced the fall
out of that Love. Our heart breaks into a million pieces. Our tears fill up the space around us until our head seems barely above the ocean we have created while crying them. Only to find ourselves saying, “it wasn’t true love.” It couldn’t be, could it? How could something be valid if it doesn’t last? In fairy tales, daytime novellas, and romantic films, we are told that “True love” is the kind that lasts a lifetime. I have believed it for my whole life, that is, until tonight.

I love hard and with sincere passion. My heart beats for the ones I love, whether romantically or not. I love my family and friends more than words can ever express. With my
past lovers, that had been no different. When I decide to love, the one I have chosen becomes my center. I exist to be the strength in their footsteps and the breath in their lungs. To me, there truly is no other way to be. I have felt in the past; that this has been part of my demise over time. The lovers I have encountered leave, or we grow apart in a disastrous fallout. I swim through darkness and eventually piece myself back together. When I meet another, we repeat that cycle when the time comes. It’s been the way of my romantic life for over 20 years. Love, happiness, and the most unbearable heartache.

In solace, I have found my peace. I have spent quite some time alone giving myself that Love I have given to others. I have filled every void I have found during this time with gratitude simply for being alive. That “True Love” I found within myself. Laying here tonight, as I’m writing this from my heart to your eyes, I discovered something. It is so tremendously possible to hold true Love for someone, even if they didn’t keep it for you. I have found that true Love can definitely be one-sided. While it may not be a successful relationship, the trueness in the Love is dependent upon the person feeling it. Whether it is received or reciprocal relies on the person you love. But it does not mean the Love you felt wasn’t the most genuine Love you’d ever experienced because, at that time, it was. At this point, it would be fair to wonder why this is important. If read through sad eyes and a sad heart, that information could only intensify those negative emotions. You may be thinking a one-sided true Love is a terrible experience; I did too! We were wrong; it speaks volumes of our ability to feel something so profound for another individual at the end of the day. To allow yourself to become so connected, so raw, is an ability some may never reach in this lifetime.

I have spent countless days of my life that I will never get back in regret for sharing that side of me with people. The reality is that I was not the weak one to let my heart become so full
of life for someone. That Love, passion, and depth; never depended on the person I chose. Follow me closely; I can only love someone; as deep as my heart’s capability. I can only love someone to my heart’s capacity. I can only love someone as deep as I love myself. The key elements; ME, MYSELF, I. Once this is realized, the pain of having felt Love can be diminished as you know that Love will always exist inside you!

When we choose to embody the true meaning of Love, we can love anyone. I Love you, the one reading this. I do not need to know you; I do not even need to know your name or see your face. I love you, and it’s the most authentic Love I’ll ever feel because Love is who we are. Over time we can forget this. Life can take you down many pathways that leave you broken and resistant. With transcendence, we can allow ourselves to return to our natural state, which you will find; is Love. So I say to you, have the strength to transcend the notions of Love bestowed upon you by experiences and others. Love is not just an emotion we feel; it truly is the meaning of existence.

They say there is no love without pain. The pain you’re feeling has nothing to do with the Love you felt. We feel pain created by building expectations. We suffer by placing conditions on the ones we love when those conditions are not met. Remove those boundaries, and you can be capable of feeling a love that lasts forever for anyone you encounter. That, to me, is the truest Love you can have in your human experience. Cheers!

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