“Have you met anyone yet?”
The question burns in my head for a few moments before I can form the words to respond.
I am not with anyone, but I know how concerned she will be when I tell her I’m not. This is one of the first questions people tend to ask me if they haven’t seen me in some time.
“No, I am not with anyone,” I say with confidence.
“Don’t you want to find someone and be happy?” She places her hand on my arm as the worried look takes over every muscle in her beautiful face.
My relationship status doesn’t define my happiness.
I respond, “I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.”
“But don’t you want to fall in love?” She keeps her hand on my arm with a sad look in her eyes.
“I haven’t met the right one yet.”
I stood in the street for an hour or so, reassuring my neighbor that all was right in my life.
The thing is, of course, I want to meet someone and fall in love. I mean who doesn’t?
I believe in the magic of love. I believe in love at first sight. I even believe that some people are just meant to be.
But I also know that love isn’t always easy. Sometimes, we need to work really hard at loving someone. And other times, we need to relax and let love do its thing.
Love can be messy and complicated. Sometimes, love really f*cking hurts. Other times, love can be easy and laid back. The lucky ones fall in love and live happily ever after.
Love is one of those things we all want to find, yet it’s the biggest mystery in life.
There isn’t one set of answers about love, and everyone has their own path in finding it.
Some of us don’t know what they are looking for. Others know exactly what they don’t want.
My journey in love has brought me here to this very moment in my life. The moment when everything inside feels beautiful and perfect in every way. This moment where I am happy just as I am.
And now I’m choosing to stay single until the right one comes along.
I’ve learned several things in the last few years. Falling in love doesn’t always equal happiness. Being happy doesn’t always involve a relationship. And being single is completely acceptable.
I am staying single until someone can give me the love I deserve. The right one who will love me extraordinarily.
Someone who participates in the relationship.
This is the person who wants to be all-in with me. The person who is my plus one and who happily accepts that position because it means spending time with me in my world. He is proud to show me off in his world and wants me to be a part of his life.
Someone who is willing to learn and grow.
This is the person who is open to learning and growing together as a couple. He compromises his life and is open to growing within the relationship. He is willing to change himself, his life, and his ways to fit into my world as much as I do the same to fit into his.
Someone willing to put in the work.
This is the person who wants a connection. He wants a relationship. He puts an effort into making us a couple. He loves spending time together. He actively plans date nights, weekend getaways, and vacations. He actively plans our life together.
Someone who gives a damn.
This is a person who cares about me. Cares about the relationship. He wants to do all he can to make my life a little bit easier. He asks about my day and truly wants to know how it was. He shows up when I am sick to make sure I’m getting enough nutrients. Or when the weather gets bad, he comes over to make sure there is enough gas in the snow blower and sets out shovels near my front door so I can get where I need to go.
Someone who pays attention to me.
This is a person who looks at me when we are together and doesn’t have his face buried in his phone. When I talk, he mutes the television so he can hear what I’m saying.
Someone who owns up to his actions.
This is a person who admits when he does something wrong and doesn’t try to turn it around on me. He says he is sorry if my feelings are hurt and tries to make it up to me if he has made a mistake.
Someone who doesn’t play games.
This is a person who calls when he says he will. He shows up when we have plans. He means what he says.
Someone who is kind.
This is a person who is always nice, sweet, and kind to me. He is tender and caring. He is playful and fun. His kind heart is loving.
Someone who listens.
When I speak, he tunes everything out so he doesn’t miss a thing. And he saves our conversations to his memory so he doesn’t forget anything about me.
Someone who recognizes my worth.
This is a person who sees me for all that I am and thinks I’m the best person for him.
Someone who doesn’t judge me.
This is a person who will never put me down or think he is better than me. Even if he thinks I’m a little on the crazy side, he thinks it’s adorable.
Someone who communicates.
This is a person who wants to talk to me about everything. Even things that are not so important. But in his eyes, everything about me is important enough to talk about.
Someone who is supportive.
This is a person who will stand by my side through it all. He will inspire me to be my best self. He will encourage me on days I feel like I can’t go on. He will hold my hand when I have doubts. And he will cheer me on when I cross the finish line.
Someone who is faithful.
This is a person who will only have eyes for me. Forever.
Someone who is reliable.
This is a person who will be my rock and be by my side. Always.
I have been through too much to accept anything less than I deserve. I was broken to the point of no return. I had to pick up every piece of myself and put myself back together. I had to learn how to love myself even when I didn’t think I was capable of it.
If you see me walking down the street, just look at the light shining from my soul. I have found happiness—within myself.
If you don’t see someone next to me, most likely I haven’t met anyone, yet. But don’t be sad. I’m not.
And when you see the sparkle of hope in my eyes, know that I do still believe in love. I just haven’t found it yet.
But I don’t need him to make me happy. I am already really freaking happy.
I need him to love me.