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August 3, 2022

To You

Photo by Craig Adderley on Pexels.

I left you on a cool winter morning

While I was still high on meeting him

You had filled me with so much poison, that I suddenly could no longer breathe

Begging for air, for light, for love

When he came and rescued me

Swept me off my feet

Offered me love, while you offered me empty promises and deceit

So it seemed a simple choice

To go soak in some sunshine with someone new

I never thought I’d come back to you

You told me I’d regret it

And after a while you were right

He and I were in the bath together when I told him I heard from you for the first time in months
You should’ve seen the look on his face
“I’d never entertain the thought of loving that man again” I said

He kissed me and nodded, but replied “I feel like you’re not finished with him”
When I said “yes I am ” we both knew I lied

A small light of hope burning behind my eyes

He yelled at me, angry

As I laid in his bed, my eyes fixed to a corner of the room
See he asked what I was thinking, and I told him

But he knew that simply was not true
He already picked up on whenever I go to that distant far off place

In the silence
I was most definitely thinking of you

So sure I was ready to forgive you, feeling the last bit of your venom drip out of me
I so quickly forgot you were the one who left it in there
It dripped from inside me, right into his open mouth
Now he’s filled with poison, yours been passed around
He hate’s me more than I thought possible
More than I ever hated you

The light gone from his once kind eyes
I guess that’s what happens to people who’ve been fallen out of love with

I gladly show up back at your door, just like you asked

Left the one who loved me
For one last round of you, I hope will last

You can’t see how I pulled another chance out of my bones and laid it at your feet
Hoping you wouldn’t see the insecurities and lies that laid beneath
Found hope in the back of my mind that this time it would be different, we could both keep our promises
Your dark eyes flicker like static electricity
I guess you’ve been missing me
I am spinning out of control on lust and comfort and withdrawal

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