August 2, 2022

Learning to Love Again: How (at 42) I Finally Found the Love I Deserve.


View this post on Instagram


At our core, we are loving beings.

We all need love. Every single one of us. Why, then, is it so hard for us to accept that love?

Most of us have endured some kind of trauma. Childhood trauma. Relationship trauma. Daddy issues. Mommy issues. Failed friendships and relationships. Something. Experiencing one of these things can really turn us off to love. Dealing with more than one makes it downright difficult for us to believe we deserve love.

We are conditioned to avoid situations that hurt us or cause us harm. Getting our hearts broken just once can make it extremely difficult for us to let down our guard and receive love. But what is life without love? Empty and bleak and lonely.

What do we do? How do we live our lives with an open and honest heart? We do it carefully—very, very carefully. We keep our hearts open, but our defenses up. We keep our eyes open. We acknowledge red flags when they pop up.

I have had my heart broken several times. Who hasn’t? I was discouraged after a failed marriage. When I was vulnerable and still a little broken, I fell in love with someone who was never mine to keep. Friendship blossomed into romantic love and left me remembering how great it felt to be in love. Unfortunately for me, I wasn’t paying attention to the red flags. It wasn’t until I was fully invested in this love that it all came crashing down around me. I took this lesson for what it was worth and learned from it.

Fast forward six months and I’m living a really happy life. I’m single and not hating it. I’m enjoying my free time and not feeling any FOMO (fear of missing out).

Then, in he walks. Right out of nowhere, there he is.

My first instinct is to run. My brain says, “No way. We’re not doing this again.” My heart, however, has other ideas.

We talk nonstop and get to know each other better. And guess what? There are no red flags. None. There is no drama, no inconsistencies, nothing that warns me of any risk whatsoever. I listen to my heart and decide to let this man love me. At 42, I’ve finally learned that I deserve love. I deserve a healthy and reciprocated love and that’s what this is.

Although I can’t predict the future, I have a good feeling. I feel optimistic. I feel seen and heard and loved completely, despite my many flaws. I have always deserved this kind of love. The problem was that I wasn’t getting it from the right person. Now I am. Now it’s my time.

You are worthy of love. You deserve love. Please don’t give up on your search to find it. It really can change your life.

Read 16 Comments and Reply

Read 16 comments and reply

Top Contributors Latest

Melissa Patrick  |  Contribution: 45,980

author: Melissa Patrick

Image: giuliajrosa/Instagram

Editor: Juliana Otis

Relephant Reads:

See relevant Elephant Video