September 6, 2022

10 Harsh Truths about Love: What I’ve Learned from 32 Years of Marriage.


View this post on Instagram

*Editor’s Note: This is the introduction piece to a larger series—lucky you! Head here to read Harsh Truth #1. Follow Galina to get notified when the next article is available to read.

Three Fridays ago, it was our 32-year wedding anniversary.

In the middle of the day, in the car, we had a huge, multi-layered fight.

I screamed so hard my throat hurt.

After that, we continued with the errands. Walked around. Had some ice cream.

In the past, I’d brood and we’d not speak for hours, maybe days. Now, I was just quiet…letting my inner organs rearrange themselves after that old wounded energy just exploded out of me.

In the evening, we went out for a planned dinner date.

As we raised our champagne glasses, I said, “I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything,” he pleaded.

We actually had a really nice evening.

It helped that we were in a beautiful place, overlooking the sun setting into the sea. The food was great—better than we expected.

Sharing delicious food is among our favorite things. In fact, it’s thanks to my husband that I discovered the pleasure of eating in the first place.

Until I left home for college, I did not like food. In my house, eating was always more of an obligation than a joy. (I only recently realized that I was anorexic from a very young age. But that’s a story for another time.)

As I process everything that came up on my anniversary, what emerges is the truth I’ve known all along — just more deeply anchored in my body as certainty:

Our relationship conflicts mirror the confrontation between Old and New. 

That screaming fight was just the thunder and lightning of the seismic shifts within me.

My wounded inner child used to run my relationship—demanding, blaming, projecting. Now I try to show up as the 56-year-old woman that I am. But the little me still tantrums sometimes.

It actually has little to do with my husband. (He’s often the screen on which I project my pain.)

As I transition from blaming him for it to finding its source within, we both shift and grow.

After 32 years of marriage, we are only just beginning to know each other.

It took me 10 years to wake up from my socially-conditioned “romantic coma.” As the journey continues, 10 Harsh Truths About Love have begun to emerge…

(One by one, starting tomorrow, I will be sharing them here. I invite you to follow along. Feel into each of them. Notice what bubbles to the surface. Observe how your own body responds…)

Hard to accept and even harder to live by, these truths demand self-responsibility.

They require us to unlearn everything we know about love and discover a new paradigm. One that will (positively) disrupt every relationship we have, including that with ourselves.

This is also the birthplace of my signature group coaching program, “Safe to Be Me.”

Conceived from the depths of my own painful awakening, born from my own messy transformation, it is…

A potent rite of passage for those who seek true love. (And are not afraid of what it really is.)

A guided, six-month online journey for those who dare to admit, “I want more!”

A quest to unlearn all you know about love so you can finally build Real Relationships.

A gateway from Old Paradigm to New.

Consider this your call to adventure, an invitation from me to you.

Next voyage starts September 22nd. Find out more and book your free introductory call.

Will you join me on the journey?

P.S. Look out for Harsh Truth #1, which I’ll publish here tomorrow!


Please consider Boosting our authors’ articles in their first week to help them win Elephant’s Ecosystem so they can get paid and write more.


Read 12 Comments and Reply

Read 12 comments and reply

Top Contributors Latest

Galina Singer  |  Contribution: 397,440

author: Galina Singer

Image: Author's own

Editor: Nicole Cameron

Relephant Reads:

See relevant Elephant Video