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September 26, 2022

Sometimes I Carry my Grief like a Boulder above Me.

 

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Sometimes I carry my grief like a boulder above me

Bruising my shoulder, crushing my knees

As I trudge slowly up the endless hill

Sometimes I can sit on it and rest a bit beneath a tree

Or beside the sea as waves wash in, quiet for a moment

A brief respite of peace for my tired heart

Sometimes I’m startled awake with that rock up top of my chest

A thousand pounds it often feels to me

Pinning me down, paralyzed into immobility

Sometimes the stone is just a pebble, small in my pocket

Then I can carry it easily, without much fuss or pain

Still with me though, a reminder of all I have lost

Sometimes the stone of my grief lies beneath my mattress

Poking me through the night no matter how I turn

Impossible and unavoidable, my sleep a lonesome dream

Sometimes enormous and sometimes small

In darkest night and in the brightest day

The stone of my grief is always there

My burden, my challenge, my unwanted companion

Teaching me lessons I never wanted to learn

I carry it, but sometimes it carries me

My grief is a stone

~

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