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September 27, 2022

Where ever you go, you are there!

Sometimes I wonder if it is a good thing, that all of ourselves go when we travel, and more so move to a different town, but, like all things, one’s perception creates judgement. In the past, I wished that I could be instantly different because I moved towns, homes, or even states.

But, each time, the hidden past would continue to shine through and remind me of my insecurities, fears, and unmet needs. The magic wand seemed not to work fast enough, but the magic of choice and various healing techniques always worked. The nervous system and memories just required a bit more time to recalibrate and the body/mind link to catch up.

Sometimes though, it takes a move to show and remind us how far we have grown and shifted the layers hiding our most authentic nature – pure love. Healing is evident in

  • less knee jerk reactions,
    greater compassion and
    slowness in reacting.
    More awareness of one’s feelings, triggered stories and
    consciously choosing how to respond or de-escalate situations that would usually be stressful.

It can also show up in

  • more play that works for you
  • contentment,
  • curiosity,
  • confidence, and
  • vulnerability as we trust ourselves and see beyond the masks others wear.
  • doing more of what you love and
  • consciously honouring healthy boundaries and your truth, what you need at any given moment and as appropriate for the situation.

This isn’t the full list, but a great starter for you to ponder through. How are you fairing?

Where ever you go, you are there.

Your ideas, beliefs, attitudes, fears, stories. Your past.

It is only when we shift the baggage do we create space for more of our very core to shine through.

Over the past week, I have had the benefit and blessing (I choose to see the challenge as positive) to revisit some deep issues. I think I won!! When I say won, it’s because in earlier times, I would have reacted (kneejerk, subconscious), taken comments and stress personally and accused myself of this or that. This time, I had similar stressors and personalities, and I almost did the opposite. This is the win!!

How and why?

Am I the same person? Yet, the core of me sure is.
Have my past lessons, challenges, and opportunities made a difference? YES!

We do take ourselves where ever we go. Some have learnt to wear a different mask for several reasons, but the neural wiring that dictates how we perceive, interpret and respond through these lenses influences the process and outcome. Change the wiring, clean the lenses and filters and our world changes, this is what has happened.

Previous experiences that triggered deeply wired fears, insecurities and stories of being ‘at fault’ even if it wasn’t my problem created the space for them to be looked at with more compassion, empathy and a lot more love. In the process of empathetic compassion for ourselves, our past, and how we internalised other people’s BS and expectations, we can become who we choose to be.

With what went down this year, I choose to see my strengths and good things and not to hide them away to help others feel safe, superior or in charge. It took a lot of reflection, asking for clarity from trusted people and sometimes being arrogant and irreverent to others. I needed to create enough safe space within the change cacoon. I also needed to create physical space to allow the alchemy of the past, to heal and rebuild my desire to step into the role asked of me.

Those following these posts can read how it hasn’t always been easier, but I will also say this year’s transformation has been much more manageable and smoother than previous times.

  • It is getting easier to see my strengths, honour and privately celebrate them.
  • It is becoming easier Tt practice greater discernment, to see what is mine, others and just what is.
  • Being gentler allows all of us in the scenario to navigate through the processes in our own time.
  • Respecting my needs, and boundaries while helping others be appreciated when they are not yet able to stand for themselves.
  • I am giving myself space to shine while being mindful of who is around me, and the context of what is happening.

The above describes what I have focused on, which is different from how. The techniques I use are the same ones I teach clients.

  • EFT/tapping has scientifically shown to rewire the neural (learnt response pathways in the brain)
  • Affirmations remind me who I choose to become and how far I have come.
  • Dissecting experiences and seeing patterns, auto-pilot thoughts, reactions, and similarities between myself and others involved – life is a mirror to see into our psyche.

So, the next time things happen, I suggest you take some deep breaths, step away if need be and walk through the hows of change. If you need help with this, I can guide you, either individually, self-paced or in a group process. The difference is profound, and the best part is you are given the pen and a blank page to Create Your Life on Your Terms! It takes practice, reflection and refining, but witnessing my transformation. I would definitely say it is worth it!!

Here’s to all of us being more of our true selves.

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Leah Marmulla  |  Contribution: 4,910