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October 20, 2022

The Damage of giving “Zero F*cks”

“Who cares what people think.”

“I’m not responsible for anyone else’s feelings.”

“I give zero F*cks!”

You’ve heard it before and likely hear or have said it time and time again.

As we’ve seemingly progressed into a culture that encourages independence, personal growth, and self-empowerment, I can’t help but notice the fine line that’s tightly nestled between self-love and self-absorption. 

 

In the midst of a chaotic world normalizing cancel culture, it seems like we’ve become increasingly self-focused and desensitized from living each day with the greater good in mind. In turn, we easily take this “me” mentality into our relationships with our partners, family, children, colleagues, strangers and friends. It’s no wonder why there is contention, division, and an overall sense of dissatisfaction our relationships. 


I firmly believe we were put here on this planet with billions of other humans for a reason. Approaching each other with a “me first” mentality not only negatively impacts the people in our lives, but also gravely limits the purpose of our overall human experience. To truly understand the gravity of this mentality, it’s important to address the root.


Often times those who are the most outwardly vocal about giving “zero F*s” are speaking from deep, unresolved wounds. When it comes down to it, this type of thinking can be easily used as a means of bypassing healing, deflection, or as an excuse for a lack of kindness, discernment, patience and understanding.

 

It can often create an ongoing sense of entitlement rather than empathy, pridefulness rather than peace, and selfishness over selflessness, while our entire lives revolve around our own reflection. The most concerning part of all, is that our children are watching, learning, and likely  adopting the same mindset.

But what would happen if we flipped the script and instead of shouting to the world that we give zero F*s, we start giving endless F*s? 


What would happen if you woke up each day and set intentions on caring for another being that has wronged you in the past or is continuing to trigger you in the present moment?

What would happen if you began to love people the way that they want to be loved rather than how you think they should be loved?

What would happen if you became more mindful about how you carry yourself around others, and make a point to exude love and light in your posture, expressions, and intentions?


What would happen if you simply remained calm and even keel instead of reacting when triggered by the person who cut you in line, gave poor customer service or cut you off on the road?

What would happen if you paid more attention to your tone and body language and held yourself accountable to maintaining a higher vibration everywhere you go?

What would happen if you committed to smiling and listening more, rather than treating others based on your wavering emotions?


What would happen if you stopped holding on to your need to be right, released your bitterness from being wronged, and ask yourself how you can be of service each day?

It’s easy to sugarcoat and gift wrap the idea of giving no F*s by calling it “self-love” or “boundaries,” when in reality, we are inadvertently creating more damage to our soul by damaging the spirit of those around us.

Our language, verbal or non verbal, has the power to create chaos, or cultivate peace.

Our demeanor has the ability to change the energy in any room.

Our “me” vs. “us” mentality has everything to do with how we experience this life as a part of humanity.

Giving ENDLESS F*s isn’t about fixating on what others think of you, but rather paying attention to how you make others feel. This doesn’t mean you allow yourself to become a stomping ground for projections, but that you become a safe space for love to grow.


In my experience, life is way more enjoyable without that chip on your shoulder.


Choose to be kind.

Choose to be consistent.

Choose to start giving a bucket full of F*s and you will see how the world around you begins to change because of your willingness to live from your heart, rather than your ego. 

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