My dreams are strange and sometimes there is a little spillover into the day. I don’t normally think twice about strange encounters or conversations that I have with people. This is changing now. I am observing everything and paying close attention to my interactions and my own internal landscape. I am noticing more and highly in tune with my own experience and my reactions.
Learning more about myself helps me to observe and learn about the obstacles that hold me back in life.
Over the past two years, I have had the strangest conversations with strangers some at home and some while travelling. These conversations had one thing in common they all identified me as creative without introduction. Now, this isn’t because they recognized me on the contrary they felt me and saw me. This is a beautiful and scary thing. Sometimes an artist lives a double or many double lives. We play the parts we need to get things done. Strip them all away and we come to our true essence which is creativity.
The true essence is the creative who has nothing to hide and no pretense he or she just is.
While writing this piece I prepared and explored what still holds me back creatively. Time is one and the other is rejection and fear that if I surrender completely to the creative life entirely I will lose other parts and this brings grief. I guess I am preparing for the life I will have.
This is part of trauma work. In order to heal and move forward, I do need to let go of parts of my life As we grow some of the old gets pushed, worn away or as I like to call it a ” slow metamorphic burn”.
Talking openly about my pursuits and projects is hard. I tend to withhold and protect cocooning. When asked how things are coming along I tend to freeze up. This is something I am working on and you might find it helpful too!
So here it is! I am making a commitment, to be honest with myself and others in terms of who I am. As terrifying as it is I will embrace the creative for she is a force to reckon with.
If you ask me what I am working on I will be honest. An anthology of poetry that needs to be edited and published, A novel on grief that is slowly evolving and finally each and every day I hear music I wish to write, meditations, podcasts and paintings I need to paint. If and when I let the creative work come out in full force it will be a full-time job. I am not ready for this however, I will take this new life as it comes with a slow metamorphic burn.
This is my story.
What is yours?
Do you have a story that is begging to be let out?
Is there some work that you are hiding from the world out of fear and rejection?
If this sounds familiar just know that you are not alone. Need some support or creative lift? Drop me a DM here in the comment section or privately if you need.
I hope this was a benefit to your day.
Living a creative life takes courage.
Here we go…..
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