I consider myself to be a person who appreciates balance in life.
I need my silent space. I crave connection and adventure. I flow in the feelings of being wild and free. Yet I understand, welcome, and lean into how routine and structure—at times—can also add so much meaning and purpose to our days.
I want my children to live their own fun and fulfilling lives. I want them to have good habits and learn how to exercise discipline when it comes to their goals.
But like many, I guess I’ve always wished I could be more disciplined and struggled to make it a sustainable thing in my life. It wasn’t until recently that a little light bulb went off (thank you, meditation) and I realized that I was looking at “discipline” all wrong.
I was seeing it through the eyes of old programming and beliefs that it had to be something I had to work hard to get good at because it didn’t come easy to me—or most.
I was subconsciously reminding myself of all the times that I didn’t follow through before and consciously telling myself a story that it would take even more effort to make it happen next time around because, well, I sucked at discipline.
But deep down inside, I knew that was bullsh*t because I know that there is always a path of alignment and ease, and that is something I work toward daily.
1. Discipline isn’t doing something only one certain way, being perfectly consistent, never ever giving up, and making it happen even when you don’t feel like it, at all costs.
Who is saying that we have to do the things that way? Why does that have to be the measure of our success or failure? Who wants to live like that?
No wonder discipline feels difficult to so many of us.
Choosing alignment to ourselves may not always feel or seem like ease at first, but when we train ourselves to tune into why it is aligned for us, the ease comes naturally because we stop resisting it and get out of our own way.
We get to decide how we react and respond.
We get to decide what things mean and how we feel about them.
We get to define discipline in our own way, in every area of our life, every day.
And so, it hit me that discipline isn’t this extremely hard-to-get, elusive thing that I have struggled with all my life because I am a messy, analytical-creative person who loves having a million goals, procrastinating, and self-sabotaging.
2. Discipline is creating your own damn rules and following them—in flow and fun and anticipation to where it feels like a must-do, no-brainer, no matter how hard it may be mentally, emotionally, or physically.
Because we get to. Because we can. Because it is our life. Because we always get to choose.
3. Discipline is keeping your word and promises to yourself.
And when we feel like we messed up or took a different route, let’s give ourselves enough grace to understand why and keep moving forward anyway.
It is doing what we said we were going to do because we already tried 99 ways to go around it, or not do it at all, and have the awareness now that it needs to be done and why.
4. Discipline is not bullsh*tting yourself into thinking you know how you are better than anyone.
It is remembering that we are human beings who are breaking through patterns that no longer serve us to make lasting changes from the inside out.
It is honoring the self-work that we have been doing, remembering how far we’ve come and where we still want to go.
It is loving ourselves so much that we refuse to let ourselves down.
5. Discipline is backing yourself even when the voices and feelings try to sway you because you know you were given those dreams, gifts, and passions to live and experience and no mistakes were made.
It is reminding ourselves that we are good enough now and already worthy of the relationships, love, body, money, and lifestyle that we desire. And that it is up to us to follow our own rules to get there.
6. Discipline is safe inner guidance, leading you to your heart’s desires, path, and purpose in life.
It can be soft and nurturing—even in grind, flow, and hustle.
It is knowing that we may not have all the answers or know it all, but we know what is true to us, and know we owe it to ourselves to accept that truth—embody and claim it.
My intention is that this message reaches you as you continue to march to the beat of your own drum, listening to your safe inner guidance and pull, shifting your perspective on what discipline means to you, and upgrading the way you show up in life continuously.
You have infinite choices available to you at all times; choose discipline, choose yourself.
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer