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January 11, 2023

Lovers Only Club: The Perils of Eco Dating

Photo by Mikhail Nilov on Pexels.

Move over Carrie Bradshaw tonight I am harnessing my inner vegan goddess to write.

Online dating is a hilarious way of meeting a potential mate. We often create a wish list for our ideal mate which we would never adhere to in the real world.  When we meet organically we don’t always care about organic living and faux leather wear. This is the contrary to online dating when a long list of criteria to save the planet is cut and pasted into the advert. When I dabbled in online dating I too fell into this dangerous trap.

For years I was a vegetarian and now I am a quasi-vegan occasional carnivore which makes me a “Flexitarian. Yes, there is a category that meets these criteria. A Flexitarian eats mainly vegetarian yet is not as strict and will have some meat. I prefer chicken and fish when I do have meat and it is to add flavour and it is not the main dish. I also have a few dietary sensitivities which make for an interesting date. I don’t share these initially and I never impose my tastes and preferences when dating or on a partner. We are all different with different needs. My lifestyle is because of my own health needs and my values. This is often complicated on the eco -scene and we are all on a ” spectrum” so to speak of where we are in our adherence to the lifestyle and ” eco movement”.

Let’s face it life is complicated and messy. Our values and ideals are essential yet are non-vegan condoms really deal breakers? In the heat of the moment, I would say no and others might beg to differ.

My vegan and non-vegan friends are equally awesome. They all have great big hearts and share their time and talents with the world. These friends have made me question my ridiculous list of qualifiers. My vegetarian or vegan need-only apply approach has changed as I have mellowed.

When we make our list exclusive are we sabotaging it? Does this impact and prevent us from finding a real potential mate? We need to ask ourselves how important a vegan or vegetarian lover is to us as well as how far does one go for love?

I have experienced so many strange encounters where my potential suitor would adapt to my preferences just to be liked and accepted as a mate. This of course was ok at first and then the ultimate turn-off.  Don’t we want people to be who they are? Do we want our partner to be just like us or is there a happy medium and give and take? The lines ” I use to date a girl that was gluten-free” makes you wonder was the lack of gluten that drove them apart or the non-dairy lattes they had in the park. What I am getting at is when people are going through the motions and adapting a lifestyle to make an impression and keep the peace will this love last?

Now. I admit the smell of pork makes me nauseated and yet a former lover has won me over to turkey bacon. I do think we can change because of our experiences and relationships. This is possible. This being said  I am not standing in line to convert an omnivore. Through the years I have grown and I am more open to at least trying new things. At the end of the day, I  do prefer veggies and legumes. When eating with friends I eat what I am able and when hosting I offer a variety of food for every taste and lifestyle.

Yes, I shop locally and I am eco-friendly to the core yet as I have aged like fine organic wine I have become less of an eco-snob and more open and easygoing,

What does this look like? It means still being passionate about my values yet letting my judgement of others slide. It means being more compassionate and chillax regarding everything eco, vegan and environmental.

I am still a work in progress.

I am still searching for the perfect vegan bag and the best gluten-free resort and yet in the love department I will remain open ” only kind caring men need apply”.

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