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February 25, 2023

When Life Kicks Your Ass, Learn the Lesson

Life is going to kick your ass a hundred different ways. Over and over again. Basically, it never stops. But what if we could shift our mindset to things happening “for” us instead of “to” us? Even if, at the time, it didn’t feel like it?

Think about how much time you spend thinking about unfortunate events that happened in your life. How many hours you’ve laid awake at night trying to figure it out; trying to make sense of it. Running through it, again and again, and coming up empty.

Sometimes, shit just happens. And there isn’t a damn thing you can do but accept it.

That job you really wanted but didn’t get.

That person you really wanted to see again that ghosted you.

The house that you fell in love with, but the sale fell through.

Whatever, I could give you 100 different examples. You know what I’m talking about.

I was recently ghosted by a man that I was (am?) madly in love with. After the initial shock started to fade, I was angry. Then I was confused. Then I cried all day. Then I was back to angry and confused. I combed through the past 8 months over and over again; trying to figure out what went wrong. Trying to figure out what happened.

After a few sleepless nights, I was still coming up empty. I just couldn’t understand why, or how, this was happening to me. I realized that this will probably be one of those times that life kicks my teeth in, and I never figure out why. I just have to accept it for what it is. I have to accept that just maybe, this is happening for me.

I know that sometime in the future, I’ll have learned a lesson from this really shitty thing that happened to me. How long that will take, nobody knows. But I know that day is coming.

Until then, I’m going to work through each emotion as it comes up. I’m going to remind myself that his actions have nothing to do with me. I’m going to be gentle with myself and practice some self-love to soothe the pain. I’m going to stop getting anxious and worrying that I did something wrong.

I’m going to accept the situation for what it is. A shitty thing that happened to me. I’m going to remember that every shitty thing that has ever happened to me has, ultimately, made me a better (and stronger) person. I’m going to move forward with my life with the knowledge that this situation will, ultimately, teach me a very valuable lesson.

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