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March 4, 2023

Men Sharing With Men

Photo by Helena Lopes on Pexels.

I sat yesterday, holding a man during a session as he cried for a short while on my shoulder.

I had no shirt on and after that I felt his tears sliding down my arm. It was a moment of such awareness, such intimacy, such emotion.

It was a moment of sensuality, heart to heart as we held each other, strong arms, men’s arms, and tender arms in these feelings.

It was a moment of vulnerability and openness, such power in that.

It was a moment of deep quiet, no words needed.

We sat looking into each other’s eyes, a conversation without words, which said so much.

I know that there are a lot of male practitioners who don’t work intimately with men.

And I know there are a lot of men who won’t share intimate work with a male practitioner.

I know how many men balk at, and refuse to work with other men on some workshops.

We’ve developed, been conditioned and patterned, into such a deep disconnect from ourselves, from aspects of our masculinity, our sensuality, our bodies, our hearts.

We’ve created such deep limitations on who we’ll share these spaces with, these healing spaces. Intimate spaces. Genital spaces.

There are so many stories around this.

What happens if I get aroused when another man touches me? What happens if I get an erection, what happens if I feel pleasure, what happens if I enjoy it?

There’s fear in this, it challenges who we think we are, not only sexually but emotionally and psychologically.

And this fear disconnects us from ourselves, from our bodies, our hearts, and from each other.

I talk about the transformational power of sex and sensuality, of touch and intimacy, and this is a place where I see such possibility.

Much of the way of our world is built around our differences, which causes judgement and separation. There’s a right and a wrong, and if you live differently to me, if you believe differently, then you’re mostly wrong.

When we stand opposite another man, when we look into their eyes, when we feel their hands holding ours, when we feel their arms around us, when we feel their chest against ours, when we feel their heart next to ours, all we feel is one.

There’s not even any sex in this.

Simply one man before another.

There’s a weight we carry, us men.

The weight of what it is to be a man, the subconscious armouring that sits deep within us. The fear of opening up, of being vulnerable, of revealing ourselves, is heavy.

The limitations we put on ourselves are heavy.

I think about our sharing in the session.

I think about the sharing with so many men, in sessions, on workshops and events.

And I think about the lightness we feel, how evident and apparent it is in our bodies, in our eyes, on our faces.

The lightness in our hearts.

And the openness this brings, in every aspect of our lives.

In our connection we’re able to let go.

We need each other for this.

It happens within us, yes it does, looking at our beliefs, our patterns.

And then it happens between us, it happens in the community we create.

It happens in the space of possibility.

And we become men of possibility, with a greater freedom in how we express ourselves, how we experience ourselves.

How we live, how we love.

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