March 27, 2023

Ten Phrases that $h*tty People Use.

Inspiration: when Gabby in Summer House told off a gent she just met (who she was attracted to but not anymore suddenly) because “all Cancers are toxic.”


We’re all basically good. But we’re also all clouded by ignorance, by greed, by aggression…by selfish neurosis. This is the Buddhist path: to travel from the shores of confusion to a more wakeful, compassionate life of service.

So if you find yourself in the below statements…use it as an opportunity for self-reflection, for three seconds of regret, for humor, for awakening—not for shame:


Do you know who I am!?

I said this once—and immediately regretted it. I didn’t mean that I was important, I meant that I had been in said community (yoga) and knew the ins and outs of its politics for 20 years—but even so, it felt ucky coming out of my mouth.

Bonus points for: “Do you know who my dad is?”


“Why do you make me have to do this”/”Look what you made me do.”

While it’s true we can be bullied into defending ourselves or frustration, true strength is to be found in being able to ground ourselves in the middle of chaos or aggression or blaming.


“It’s just a prank, bro!”

It’s the rallying cry of bullies everywhere—when they get busted. After any genuinely funny prank, both parties should be delighted.


“It’s my truth.”

One of the more noxious flagpoles in a sea of reality, our truth is not separate from the whole, or from, you know, the truth. Gravity doesn’t care about your truth. “Truth is singular, its ‘versions’ are mistruths.” ~ David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas.


Blaming your behavior on astrology. “I can’t help it, I’m a ‘insert starsign.'”

Or blaming your own behavior on, say, a parked car in Nebraska.


“I’m just brutally honest and tell it like it is.”

Honesty matters. But it’s not an excuse to be a…meanie. “Honesty without compassion is cruelty.” ~ someone

“Do not confuse speaking the truth with speaking without thought.” – a line from Glass Onion


“If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”
~ Narcissists who think they’re Empaths, everywhere.


“It was just a joke, don’t be so dramatic. Lighten up.”

Maybe. Or maybe you’re creepy and don’t respect boundaries.


“If you have to ask the price then you can’t afford it.”

Said to me and my stepbrother in the Oak Room, once. Uh, no—I’m self-secure enough to ask.


“It’s just business.”

Tells me everything about the business you run. Most of these ideas/quotes come via this thread.


For more:

10 Subtle Signs someone is not an entirely Good Person.

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