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May 3, 2023

3 Questions to Ask Ourselves before Taking Someone’s Advice.

taking someone's advice

As an astrologer, I am aware of the planetary influences that play a role in my life.

Even though I have my own way of understanding these influences, I sometimes like to deepen my understanding by reading interpretations of other astrologers.

About a week ago, I read an analysis by one of the biggest names in astrology regarding a long-term influence that I’ve just entered.

The bottom line was that I should not try to advance myself at work or embark on any new projects during this time. My energy level will be low. I will not be capable of dealing with physical or mental challenges. I will set myself up for a failure with everything I try during this time.

Ouch.

Despite having my own positive interpretation to this influence, I am having a hard time shaking away the negativity of this fatalistic, doom and gloom message.

I am currently in the process of writing a book. I am coming out with the message of my book and building an audience to get it published. And like most beginning authors, I am facing a lot of self-doubt. Is my book good enough? Do I really have something meaningful to say? Can this book be of benefit to others?

This astrological interpretation was the last thing I needed to read.

It reminded me that a few years ago, a client, who is an international bestseller, shared her concern due to an astrological annual forecast she read in the newspaper. It predicted that people with sun in Taurus would have a challenging year.

She was about to publish a new book and translate another book into two more languages. It took great effort for me to convince her that she had many auspicious influences coming her way, and there was absolutely no reason to worry.

It’s not only astrological predictions and forecasts that scare people for no reason and make us behave in ways that are counterproductive for us.

A client of mine contacted me recently because she was having a hard time understanding what was going on in her romantic relationship. After a few months of being totally engaged and interested, the man she was dating cooled off.

I advised her to be honest and ask him what was going on. She told me that her therapist advised her to play it cool since, in his opinion, she tended to be too dramatic and needy in her romantic endeavors.

After she spoke to the man she was dating, he confirmed that he had lost interest in having a serious relationship with her. Despite her disappointment, she felt empowered for saying out loud that she was looking for something serious and for walking away from a situation that drove her nuts.

A friend who just got divorced confessed that she stayed in her relationship for years because her therapist kept urging her to engage with her partner through nonviolent communication, and to find love, understanding, and compassion for him.

The truth was that his requests and needs got on her nerves. She continuously faked feeling peaceful and understanding while struggling with her innate desire to get angry and scream.

The common thread in all these stories is advice that encouraged a lack of authenticity.

The astrological predictions my client and I read asked that we keep our heads low while we both felt a strong urge to expand our careers. But there was a feeling of relief when we eventually acted authentically.

When we receive consultation or advice from an astrologer, a therapist, a family member, or a friend, we should always ask ourselves these questions:

Does taking this advice bring me closer to myself?

Does it make me more authentic?

If the answer is no, don’t take it.

Specifically in astrology, there are so many influences that we all encounter. Every influence is just a piece of the puzzle. Any single prediction that is general to all people with the same sun sign or the same transit will most likely be inaccurate.

The other important question to ask is this:

Does this advice offer me a high road?

When a therapist tells you that you need to accept someone’s lack of responsiveness or demands that don’t align with your needs, it does not offer you an alternative. Just like the famous astrologer’s interpretation did not give me an alternative.

Good advice will always offer a high road.

Taking the high road must always come out of authenticity. For example, forgiveness is always the high road, but if you are still wounded and holding a grudge, pretending to forgive will not serve you well.

In relationships, the high road is always authenticity, even if it’s painful for you or for the other person. But being authentic does not mean sharing everything. It means being real in your responses; not faking understanding and peace when you don’t feel them.

When it comes to astrology, things are a little more versatile. In the case of the influence I go through, for instance, if my actions will be motivated by creativity and a desire to be in service for others, I will be successful.

Yes, I will need to keep my ego strong during this time, because this influence might indeed attempt to weaken it, but it will enhance my capacity to act out of my soul, which is always a wonderful thing.

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