May 5, 2023

Let them Come & Let them Go.

Although extremely difficult, sometimes the only thing we can do is let go of control and have faith.

And letting go is hard for all of us. Letting go leaves us vulnerable and that makes us uncomfortable.

People leave our lives for an assortment of reasons. Most of those reasons have absolutely nothing to do with us.

As much as we want to make them stay, that’s not up to us. We can’t make people stay if they don’t want to. All we can do is set them free. After time, I think we learn a lesson from them. Someday, it all makes sense, and we understand why they had to leave. Once it makes sense, we finally find some peace. Sometimes, that person’s exit was making room for someone else to enter our lives.

My first experience in this came about 20 years ago. My best friend at the time felt that we were at different places in our lives, and she ghosted me. Stopped accepting my calls and never returned my messages. Although it was extremely hurtful to me, she had her reasons for wanting out of the friendship, and I had to accept it and move on. It took me years to “get over” her, but I finally learned that her decision had absolutely nothing to do with me. Much like a romantic breakup, I had no choice but to let her go.

The same goes for people who come into our lives unexpectedly. They come to us in many forms: friends, lovers, coworkers, acquaintances, soulmates. We don’t get to decide how or why this happens. All we can do is live with open hearts and welcome them into our lives when they get there. I like to believe that these people come to us after we have expressed, inwardly or outwardly to the universe, what we are missing in our lives. There could be an assortment of reasons: emotionally, physically, or spiritually.

>> To teach us. To teach us important lessons about ourselves and the world.

>> To better us and our lives. To help us grow into our best selves and live our best lives.

>> To change us. To change the way we think of and the way we see the world and ourselves.

>> To break us. To break our hearts and help us learn what we truly deserve.

>> To inspire us. To help us figure out what our purpose is.

>> To help us find our path. To help us when we are lost and can’t find our way.

>> To help us learn how to love. To love us the way that we are meant to be loved so that we don’t settle for anything less.

I unexpectedly fell in love with a man who was not really mine to love. I think what I loved the most about him was how he made me feel about myself. He taught me that I had a gift with words and encouraged me to share them with the world. He helped me to realize that I connected with people on a personal level because of my ability to share myself and my life. Because of him, I was able to start writing and expressing my thoughts. I was able to connect with people on a much deeper level.

I knew that things were never going to work out between us and that we had no future. But, in the nine months that I knew him, he taught me a lot of valuable lessons, and I’m grateful for that.

Some of these people might stay and some of them might not. Like that saying goes: “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.”

The important part is to understand who these people are and what purpose they have on our journey.

I know it’s difficult when things don’t make sense at first. It’s confusing and bewildering. But I like to think that the universe knows what she is doing and brings us who we need, when we need them.

If only we can give up a little bit of control and have faith.


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