June 15, 2023

How did Generosity become Uncool?


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So, it has been quite awhile since I wrote on this platform. I have been deep in my own energetic bubble exploring the cosmos and am recently emerging into the physical world again.

And as I look around at where I am on earth, there is something brewing in my heart that I have wanted to talk about and express for a long time.

I just keep wondering when did generosity become something uncool or a bad choice in some way?

Now, I understand the dangers of people-pleasing as a trauma response, and the experience of crossing your boundaries out of fear of disappointing others only too well. Just like any woman on this planet, I have done this many times.

I am also a big supporter of us all moving away from co-dependency—which is essentially looking for our happiness in the response of others. Co-dependency isn’t working for anyone, and I am in full support of everyone moving to inter-dependency, where we each take responsibility for our own emotional responses.

I am talking about something separate from people pleasing and co-dependency. I am talking about sheer generosity just because it feels good, makes other people feel good, and is just the loveliest way to be in the world.

To me generosity is a feminine trait. Generosity is nurturing, cooperation, kindness, and empathy. Generosity is providing for our community, and it’s a necessary aspect of survival for the human race.

I feel that this negativity toward kindness and generosity is part of an overall misogyny we have in society that prefers certain masculine traits of productivity and accomplishment, seeing them as strong and courageous. Whereas, we downplay feminine traits of service and nurturing seeing them as weak—something girls or gay people do.

And of course, this is crazy. It takes a lot of strength to be generous and giving, when there is no high-end return; just think of a nurse working a 12-hour shift in a hospital.

What I am disappointed in is the New Age spiritual community who seems to support this idea that you must look out for yourself first in order to evolve spiritually. Once upon a time in spiritual communities service and generosity were seen as selflessness, and the best way to proceed on the spiritual path.

I grew up in the Jewish community and was taught that doing service anonymously where you got no recognition at all for your giving was the highest type of giving to exist.

But now in the name of spiritual development, we are to tell people that our own journey comes first, and we are not available to help because we don’t want to be burnt out or depleted by giving too much. And often we feel shame or regret for the ways we were kind to others, when we didn’t receive recognition or a “positive” response back.

I honestly don’t think anyone should ever feel regret for being kind and generous—even if the result was uncomfortable or difficult. Of course, neglecting self-care and pushing ourselves too far to the point that we are not well is never a good idea. However, we all have time for Netflix, scrolling through TikTok, getting another latte at Starbucks, and taking another personal development course—so we also have time for kindness!

I vote for more volunteering at the FoodBank, for more bringing soup to your neighbor when they are sick, for more helping people when they have a flat tire on the side of the road. We need more kindness and generosity on all levels of society—not less.

I know there is nothing I am actually voting for here, but I am seeing women in high places speaking out on these issues at this time, and I want to be part of that movement. We need to be caring to each other; that is the only way we are going to get through the present struggles everyone on the planet is presently facing.

The revival of kindness, generosity, compassion, and service is truly the healing of the feminine on our planet, and is what is needed the most at this time.

So much love to you all!


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