There is a quote from The Sun and Her Flowers by Rupi Kaur that goes:
“You are everywhere except right here and it hurts.”
When we think of death, this is where our minds go. How many times have you felt this deep within your bones, energy, and heart? When we lose someone, I believe this is exactly how we feel.
Memories are everywhere. In our homes with items they gave us or the times we shared there together. It’s in the lines of songs we sang or lyrics that remind us of them. It’s in the places we visit that we went there with them—whether it be on vacation or just out for lunch. It’s in the signs like rainbows, cardinals, feathers, and butterflies. These are all constant reminders, and they seem to pop up everywhere. This brings the words to the quote to mind…you are everywhere but here.
This is a part of our lives that we will all go through at some point. Death is a part of life. And with death comes grief and memories of what was. There is no right or wrong way to handle it. We are not given a choice; we work through it the best way possible.
I wish there was an antidote or quote I could offer you that would make you feel as though it will pass. But the truth is grief does not pass. You carry it with you forever. You learn to adjust your everyday life. Little by little.
Keeping their memory alive can help comfort you. Life is full of those precious snippets of lasting memories. Today, I challenge you not to waste the opportunities here on this earth plane. Let the ones who mean the most to you feel it, hear it, and know it. Memories, good or bad, are thoughts that help us to get through grief.
Living with guilt of what could have been is difficult. Finding peace in the time you had with them instead of the what ifs can be challenging. So, in saying that, how do you find peace? Meditate and pray. When you slow down the mind to meditate, you find clarity. Clarity helps you find peace. Live your life to the fullest to honor those who have gone before you.
But what if you were estranged from the one who passed? Making peace before this happens seems to be an easy solution if we had an idea of how long we would have, but death creeps up when we least expect it. The truth is that not everyone we love is good for our energy. I’ve had to divorce a few family members as well as close friends. Losing them while they are still on this earth plane is a choice. Some things can’t be mended but they can be forgiven and released.
Some situations are just what they are. I’ve learned that people come into our lives for a reason, for a season, or for a lifetime. Maybe the season is over. You can miss someone who is still here because of choices they have made that do not line up with your thought process, and that is okay. Find peace in the choices you make.
However, when we speak about someone whom we cared about and they pass, we miss everything about them. And we have no choice to reunite with them until our last breath. “You are everywhere but right here and that hurts.” Grief hurts. You miss them. When you are missing them or want to reconnect with them, I want you to do a few minutes of this meditation. You can do this as often as you’d like.
First, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Visualize them in your mind and see every detail of their face. Remember the tone of their voice. What was something they always said? How did it feel when they sat next to you? Visualize and imagine them right beside you. How did their hands feel? Reach out and visualize holding their hand. Remember, breathe slowly and don’t give up; it may take you a few tries. Take a deep breath in and remember their scent. What perfume or cologne did they wear? What familiar scent comes to mind? Imagine being face to face with them. What would you want to say? Say it. Tell them you love and miss them. Say whatever comes to mind. This is your moment. Now, pause and listen. How would they respond? What words would they say to you? They are with you right now.
Take in every second you can and give yourself permission to be vulnerable enough to feel the connection. To feel peace. You may want to journal about your experiences with this. “You are everywhere but right here and that hurts.”
Their memory, spirit, and energy are all around you. I know they are not here physically but in spirit. It still hurts but maybe a little less. Remember, they are only a whisper away.