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We all have different parts of us.
We have parts that have different priorities, that want different things, parts that have different kinds of beliefs and thoughts about the world and what’s important and how we should live.
We can see it in obvious ways, when we can feel a part of us that wants something and a part that doesn’t want it, or a part that wants to try something new and a part that doesn’t. A part, for example, that wants to go somewhere and a part that reasons why it would be better to stay home. Or a part that wants to pursue a new path in life and a part that wants to keep us where we are.
Often, these different parts of us conflict. We can imagine, for example, a responsible part balking at the idea of just quitting a secure job when we need income, or a super rigid part conflicting with a more spontaneous carefree part that wants to do something fun and exciting.
This can cause tension, stress, and feelings of being stuck or blocked.
And of course it doesn’t feel good to feel stuck or blocked. It’s frustrating when we can’t seem to figure out what to do or for us to see that we’re still struggling with certain limiting beliefs or patterns or other types of thoughts or behaviors that don’t serve us.
But if there is one thing I wish everyone would know, it’s that all of these parts are doing what they’re doing to serve us, to help us, to protect us in the best way they know how.
Each part feels a certain way for a reason, and they’re doing the best they can to help us.
Some of the beliefs or patterns or reactions may be misguided. We may have taken on misconceptions about the world or ourselves or about what something means. But to the parts that believe it, whatever it is, when they act on it, they’re just doing what they think they should do to protect us, to help us. They think they’re doing what’s best for us.
Even “self-sabotage” is just a part of us trying to keep us safe, trying to do what’s best, in some way—even if consciously we can see it’s hurting us.
We might consciously want something or we might know that a certain behavior or belief or pattern isn’t serving us, but somewhere deep inside, some part of us is holding a deeper subconscious belief that whatever it is is necessary.
I’ve seen this in myself and I’ve seen it when working with others as a hypnotherapist.
Each part of us wants to help us, even if consciously it doesn’t always seem that way.
The more aware we become, the more we’ll be able to navigate these parts of ourselves, and the more we’ll be able to give love and understanding to these parts.
So often, we feel frustration with the parts that we don’t like or that we feel are limiting us or holding us back, but frustration and self-judgment don’t help. They just further splinter and separate us within ourselves.
So, it’s nice to be able to shift in the moment, to consciously turn from frustration to a gentle curiosity, to an understanding that a part that is speaking up in some way is just trying to help us.
It’s important to soften, turn inward, and listen to ourselves. To seek to understand what it is that our parts want or need and to give ourselves what it is that we need. We can shift beliefs and patterns, but it doesn’t come through force or self-judgment. It comes through compassion, love, acceptance, and deep understanding.
It comes through an understanding that is deeper than our conscious, rational, logical mind.
It’s important for us to sit with ourselves, listen to ourselves, and allow what wants to arise into our awareness to arise.
It’s not always easy. It can be difficult. And if it’s something that we’ve been working on for a long time, it can feel so frustrating. “Ah, not this again!”
But if we can shift from the frustration to understanding, to understanding that the parts within us are just trying to help us, we can feel a softening within us.
We can shift and reframe and change patterns and behaviors. We can let go of misconceptions and limiting beliefs.
And if we do more focused work, like with parts work, we can dialogue between the parts and work through inner conflicts. We can find more aligned ways of moving forward. The parts of us may come together or at least compromise in some way—and we’ll be able to move in the world with more intention, feeling more solid and more integrated.
When we truly understand to the deepest feeling place inside of us that all parts of us are just there to protect us, we’ll feel such a softening and love inside.
And this will allow us to actually shift, change, learn, and grow—to become more integrated, to come more wholly into ourselves.