The few lovers I had over the last years has been great sources of teaching and guidance. The message down is one more.

Do you think it is wrong to believe that once you love and connect deeply someone, you don’t need anyone else in your life?

Do the fact that I don’t want to hide myself and who I’m with make of myself a conventional person?

Then if yes well I do have to assume that I’m a conventional person! And you know what? Maybe for once I won’t take it as an insult. I’m just human after all.

The fact I have been single for months before I met you did not happen for nothing. And I have not always been a nonne. I have been in love many time, I have been with good persons, and not so good ones. I have been good, and not so. I have been cheated on, and I cheated. I have been in years long relation, in a lot of short ones, in official one, non official, open, sex-friend,…. I have been through so many type of relation that I truly can’t remember everything.

But the reason why I have been alone for so long those last years is because I now know what I want and don’t want (even if love is always something pretty abstract to me. Am I the only one? ). And the reason why I’m getting away from you is because I know what I want and what I don’t want.

And yes I can be weak sometimes. I’m still human after all.

But I want no more fear.

I want to create, to built.

With someone who goes the same way.

I don’t want to feel alone.

I don’t want to hide.

I want to enjoy,

and love,

and share freely.

And knowing that we can be enough for each other, because I do believe that’s possible.

Understand me well, I’m not questioning any other type of relation: Everyone is free to go their own way. Yours is not mine and we just have to respect that.

Does that makes me conventional? Well if that’s what you think I can’t agree more with you.

But as long as you consider yourself free, I would like you to let me know where is the freedom when you need to hide, and live in fear, especially with love…