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“We only need a handful of friends. One or two close buddies. The people who ‘know us best’ are all we need to survive.” ~ Unknown
While this is true, I have a different point of view.
There are 10 “types” of friends we need to get through the human experience.
The 10 friends we all need:
1. The Ride or Die. First and foremost, we need one ride or die true blue friend. This is the one who knows us best. The one who held our hair back when we were drunk and puking, the one who lets us complain. This is the friend who absorbs our bullsh*t and stays in the game. Time and distance mean nothing to this one as she is buried inside the first layer of our hearts.
2. The Meme Keeper. This friend sends a meme (or a TikTok, or a crazy Reel) regularly and what she says without saying it is….”I miss you. I thought this was funny. We can both laugh at this together. We have the same sense of humor. You are awesome, and I thought of you when I saw this.” A friend that makes us laugh is a top tier one indeed.
3. The Fixer. She can change a tire, install your new flooring, and put up your pendant light. If she can’t fix it, she knows who can.
4. The Social Butterfly. This friend knows everyone. She’s part of the scene. You walk into a bar and everybody knows her name. You drop her name into a conversation, and the eyebrows go up, faces light up, and people ask questions.
5. The Trendsetter. She is always on point when it comes to the latest gadgets and fashion finds. She’s wearing the headbands with the knot on top before the rest of the world. She’s traveling to Iceland and reporting back. She wore the Carhartt overalls three years ago. She has her finger on the pulse of what’s going on but also creates a buzz around something unusual. We need this friend because she makes us cooler. She will let us know, without batting her eyelashes, that a jumpsuit to a wedding is a badass move, and yes, we should just go for it, but dammit, we better be wearing heels.
6. The Honest One. He or she is probably your sibling who does not hold back when and if you ask for an opinion. “That dress looks horrible. You’re being unreasonable. Cut him some slack. If you’re asking for my opinion, I will say, yes, I think you’re drinking too much.” You know, stuff like that. We all need this one in our lives whether we think we do or not.
7. The Rescuer. Flat tire? This one’s here for it! Your mom needs a grocery delivery? She’s your pal.
8. The Hot Mess. Yup, we need her too. This is the friend who needs us and therefore provides the thing a lot of us humans need…the need to feel needed. We help, we try to be nonjudgmental, and we just accept that we’ll be frustrated with the lack of progress. We keep this friend and her flaws because truth be told, we know our own flaws match up.
9. The Shoulder. She’ll give us tea and a biscuit and a warm, safe place to hang out. She’s always there with the tissues. She pats our back and lets us know everything is going to be okay without giving us advice. She’s just there for us—a cushion, a sounding board, a sponge.
10. The Teacher. Our “teacher friend” sets a great example or is so well-versed and experienced it’s difficult not seek her advice, her words of wisdom. We learn just by watching the example she sets.
Truth be told, we can survive without a million friends. In fact, the happiest people on Earth often only have one or two close friends throughout a lifetime, and we tend to collect our tribe as we journey onward. A common misconception seems to point to something unrealistic, which is that our “besties” must all know one another just because they know us. This couldn’t be further from the truth, and quite frankly, it often creates conflict when too many personalities mix.
One thing is certain, the 10 friends we need need us too—for different reasons!
For example, our Hot Mess friend needs us to be The Shoulder. Our Rescuer friend needs us to be The Hot Mess! The Social Butterfly needs The Trendsetter and vice versa. See how it works?
Okay, here’s a challenge: think about the relationships you sew outside your romantic partner, and try to figure out which friend you are!