February 20, 2024

The Wise Woman.

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Many years ago, I was experiencing a “dark night of the soul,” a time when all I had worked for was coming to an end—my career, my marriage, my home.

It seemed every time I would get my footing under me, another wave of terrible hit and caused me to stagger and often fall.

It was during this time I found out more about myself than any other time in my life thus far.

Although I would not want to personally experience this time again, I can gratefully acknowledge all that it taught me. And often that teaching occurred through seemingly random people. One such person was whom I refer to as The Wise Woman.

I am in my office at the hospital and my friend, a wise woman 20 years my senior, comes and plops down in the chair across from me.

“Did you know that when a caterpillar goes into his cocoon he does not just grow wings…he actually dissolves into goo and restructures his DNA to create an entire new creature.”

I am in the presence of wisdom. I know I am getting ready to learn a lesson.

“No, I didn’t know that.”

“Yep, and that is you. You are becoming a butterfly, but in order to get there, you have to go through the ‘goo’ phase. You are in the ‘goo’ phase. You are restructuring your DNA, becoming someone new. You are learning new patterns, building a new framework, forming wings. However, there is one thing you need to know about the goo phase, something nobody tells you—the goo phase hurts like hell.”

She pauses and nods thoughtfully.

“But that is how you get your new beautiful wings; there are no wings without the goo.”

She is dressed in her black plain dress with her white collar, hair short and white, teeth crooked, and clear blue eyes, completely present. She nods at me, gets up and turns toward the door. Walking a few steps, she looks over her shoulder at me.

“I can’t wait to see your wings. I know they will be beautiful.” And she walks out the door.

I can’t wait to see my beautiful wings either; they will tell the story of my recovery and my redemption.

My wings are beautiful and have more color and character than ever before. I have spread those wings to include a life filled with writing, healing, teaching, and yoga.


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