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{*Did you know you can write on Elephant? Here’s how—big changes: How to Write & Make Money or at least Be of Benefit on Elephant. ~ Waylon}

I’ve always been a highly sensitive person.

My increased sensitivity sometimes leads me to take things personally. Even if it’s not about me, my mind is programmed to misinterpret the words and actions of others. I can easily spend days and weeks ruminating about an incident that isn’t related to me.

I have spent many years working on that particular issue and removing the false ideas that have hindered my spiritual progress. The truth is it’s draining and mentally exhausting to feel bad or upset about something that might have nothing to do with me.

I know many people who misinterpret others’ words and actions too. They fixate on what they have heard or experienced and can’t shrug off the criticism. I feel their pain because I know it cuts deep to feel singled out. But I also know that others might not hurt us intentionally even if we feel that they’re targeting us on purpose.

So why do we make false assumptions? Why do we think that people dislike us or talk behind our back?

There are many factors that contribute to negative thinking, but there’s only one that leads us to obsess over what people may think or say about us: the level of our self-esteem.

If we have a low self-esteem, we may criticize, hate, belittle, or doubt ourselves. We doubt the way we dress, talk, and laugh. We hate how we look in the morning and the haircut we’ve been worried about getting. We think we’re bad friends or terrible parents. The work we get done is never enough and the healthy food we eat could be better. Our plans are doomed to fail, we’re not satisfied with our social life, and nothing ever goes our way. In short, we’re not as happy as we should be.

I have come to realize that the way we see ourselves influences how we think others see us. Although we may never see ourselves through someone else’s lens, we need to ask ourselves this question whenever we think that someone’s targeting us.

“What do I think of me?”

If we feel ugly, we think that others may judge how we look.

If we feel like a failure, we think that people may reject us.

If we’re not sure of our abilities, we think that people may not appreciate us.

If we doubt our decisions, we think that people may criticize our life choices.

If we have difficulty receiving compliments, we think that people may fake kindness.

If we talk badly about ourselves, we think that people may talk badly about us.

And the list goes on. In short, almost everything that others do or say may feel like a threat if we think we’re not good enough. We need to check in with ourselves and investigate the past hurts and traumas that may be blocking our ability to trust ourselves fully.

What story are we telling ourselves? When we take things personally, the voice in our heads may be jumping to conclusions without any evidence. What is it telling us? If we listen carefully enough, we will discover that our misinterpretations create the negative picture that always looms over us.

So let’s start with ourselves first. Let’s practice self-awareness and give ourselves the love we deserve. When we start loving ourselves, people’s words and actions won’t matter—even if they’re intentional.

Breathe and love yourself exactly as you are. More importantly, remember that you matter and so many people love you exactly as you are too.

~