{*Did you know you can write on Elephant? Here’s how—big changes: How to Write & Make Money or at least Be of Benefit on Elephant. ~ Waylon}

Something happened last week that triggered me and left me deeply upset.

I was filled with irritability. My emotions were so intense and I just couldn’t shake them off.

I kept replaying the unfortunate situation in my head in the hope of finding a solution or some peace of mind.

When taking a shower later that day, I caught myself smiling. My body was tense after a long, stressful day, and I could feel the warm water relaxing my muscles and soothing my mind.

But something felt wrong. Finding sudden peace in the midst of trouble made me feel guilty. I wasn’t supposed to relax; I was supposed to revisit the past.

Shameful thoughts swept through my mind, and although I had moved on from the problem and my body was no longer in fight-or-flight, I badly wanted to linger (again) on the incident.

During that moment of genuine contentment, I couldn’t resist the urge to mentally complain.

That was when I discovered the obstacle to happiness.

When a situation generates a negative outcome in our present moment, we might zone out for a few hours, days, or even weeks. We can clearly see that our state of mind is sluggish.

However, at some point, the dissatisfaction and dullness start to subside. We feel the frustration and anger leaving our bodies as we enter a deep state of relaxation.

In that moment of genuine and natural emotional release, we continue to be extremely burdened by our aversive situations.

Most of us aren’t ready to let go of worries and thoughts around a situation when our nervous system wants to have pleasurable experiences again. And so we emotionally exaggerate and refuse to relinquish our mental annoyances.

During my own emotional release, I wondered why we get so attached to our irritations once we gain clarity and release pent-up emotions. We clearly have the choice to either dwell on our challenges or purposefully release them.

But we rarely release them. Worrying about our problems makes our life more meaningful. It gives us meaning and purpose—excitement, maybe. Without our stress and struggles, our future is unknown. Our present moment is boring, and so the question remains:

Are we willing to let go of struggle?

Our answer might give us a hint of how happy we generally are. People who dwell on their struggles tend to have a stressful life. We may not be able to change the unfavorable situations that bring us down, but we’re definitely able to change how we think about them and respond to them.

That’s the secret to happiness. Being joyful is not fully connected to the quality of our experiences. Joyful experiences undoubtedly make our life richer and state of mind healthier, but they don’t always change how we feel about ourselves, the world, or others.

Having said that, our happiness is directly dependent on our willingness to release the emotional tension that always naturally subsides in our bodies.

We have a choice every single day to make life beautiful. Only we can choose what we want our life to mean.

~