{*Did you know you can write on Elephant? Here’s how—big changes: How to Write & Make Money or at least Be of Benefit on Elephant. ~ Waylon}

Learning to trust myself has been a long, arduous journey.

I’ve never really trusted myself. I think that my success is failure in disguise. I could look better, feel better, and do better. I’m kind, but I could be kinder. I’m smart, but I could be smarter. I’m funny, but I could be funnier. I could go on forever.

No matter what I do or say, my “what ifs” chase me like a shadow. I overthink, ahem, everything, and my anxious thoughts don’t subside…unless new anxious thoughts take over.

To sum it all up, I doubt me—every single second. But every day I choose to fight the nagging voice in my head that thinks I’m a nobody. It’s been okay, mostly, but what’s been awful is having to summon up the courage to recover from the mistakes I occasionally make.

Instead of taking responsibility for my actions, I retreat and give myself a hard time for being so imperfect. Imperfection is an innate trait that we often resist or ignore. We strive for perfection as if it’s doable or…possible.

So if you think you trust yourself but find it hard to accept your mistakes or flaws, think again. How genuine is your self-trust if guilt and shame live at the core of your being?

It’s funny how mistakes terrify us. We’re terrified because:

>> making them unravels our imperfect nature

>> they make us look vulnerable in front of others

>> they shake our self-image

>> they make us doubt ourselves

>> they expose our dormant wounds and traumas

>> they make us anxious about how others might see us

>> we can’t tolerate strong, difficult emotions such as shame or guilt

>> we don’t feel mentally and emotionally safe enough to admit we’re wrong

>> we judge ourselves

>> we don’t know how to handle failure

>> we think it’s not okay to make mistakes

The truth is self-trust should feel like freedom. It feels so good that making mistakes becomes an opportunity rather than a hindrance in our life.

Mistakes offer us the chance to learn from them and improve our spiritual growth. Without mistakes, we can never test the strength of our self-trust. Because when we trust ourselves, we know ourselves; we know who we are. No amount of anger, confusion, or any other unpleasant emotion can make us doubt ourselves.

With self-trust comes the reassurance that making mistakes is a big part of being human—that it’s okay, normal, common. If we’re not willing to normalize mistakes, we will never be able to trust ourselves or accept ourselves as we are.

The only way to do that is to expand our mindset and admit when we’re wrong. Taking responsibility for our actions is not easy, but it improves the relationship we have with ourselves—and others. When we are willing to show vulnerability and humility, we give ourselves permission to be human.

~