Buddhists teach that worry is useless.
They believe that some things are out of our control, so worrying about them causes unnecessary stress.
“Worry is useless” is a mantra I’ve always lived by. I acknowledge the silliness of worrying about something that might turn out completely differently than what I have imagined. I’ve been there and I’ve laughed at myself more times than I care to remember.
The Buddhist in me knows that sometimes I worry a little too much, which is indeed a form of suffering. I set unrealistic expectations, fantasize about unattainable outcomes, and raise my cortisol levels for nothing.
Because the truth is worry feels like a built-in function that is always present within my nervous system. Turning it off is often impossible, and I admit that it has run in my family for many generations.
Whether I have inherited it or developed it due to my life experiences, I acknowledge the emotional, mental, and physical pain it creates. Admiring the Buddhist concept of worry is much harder than putting it into practice.
Believe it or not, I’ve always known how to manage my anxiety about the big things. But it’s the little things that annoy me the most—the ones that I instinctively know are pointless yet they still get to me.
They temporarily steal my joy and good days. Recently I’ve realized that worrying about the things that don’t really matter isn’t working for me anymore. My happiness and peace of mind come first, and so the only way to achieve the ultimate state of happiness is to stop feeling annoyed by the things that don’t matter that much.
Here’s how I’ve been doing this:
Think about the things that do matter. Like your health, career, family, or comfort. If we compare the little things that annoy us (like forgetting to turn the water heater on) with the big things that are terribly unfortunate (like the death of a loved one), we will be struck by the absurdity of the annoying situation and naturally calm down.
Think about the solutions, takeaways, and actions. I’ve found that the best way to stop worrying in its tracks is to change its course. Instead of contemplating the problem, contemplate what you can do about it, what you can learn from it, and how to implement your realizations about it.
Think about now. What are you doing in the present moment? What matters most to you right now? Indulge in it. Feel it. Immersing ourselves in the present moment can take away all our worries and fears and remind us that there’s a beautiful space outside the walls of our limited minds.
Think about the whys. Why are you worried? Be honest with yourself. Reflect on all the possible reasons as to why you feel this way. When you get honest answers, you get possible exits. Take the time to recognize your fears and weaknesses and be honest about what you truly expect from yourself.
Unnecessary worry is detrimental to our emotional and mental health. When we understand that the only thing we can control is ourselves, our problems take on another form. We instantly become happier when we choose to see our life through a different lens.
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