My husband had kitchen duty—the only day he is home.

Instead, I found him sitting in front of the TV, with a drink in his hand.

I felt the familiar wave rising.

The inner voice began:

I do everything…

No one helps me…

Poor me…

The list grew longer.

And with every thought, my frustration grew heavier.

I could feel myself sinking into resentment.

Then something happened.

I am not going down this dark alley, I said to myself.

I turned the stereo to full volume and I started dancing.

“Turn the volume down,” said my husband, but I continued dancing, in ecstasy.

So, instead of arguing…

Instead of complaining…

Instead of trying to be right…

I danced.

I danced my frustration out of my body.

I danced my resentment into the floor.

I danced myself back into life.

I felt what I can only call a dance-high.

Joy settled where resentment had been before.

My husband was not thrilled about the noise.

He got upset.

But then, something interesting happened.

After about 5 minutes…

He got up and went to the kitchen.

After he cleaned the kitchen, he took the broom and started sweeping the floors as well.

No argument.

No pressure.

No lecture.

Just…movement.

And in that moment, something became very clear to me:

We often try to change people through conflict.

But real change begins when we shift our own energy first.

I did not win an argument.

I didn’t convince him of anything.

I simply chose joy over resentment.

And somehow…

Joy moved the situation forward.

This is something I am learning more and more in my caregiving journey:

When we choose what gives us life, we begin to create life around us.

When we resist, we tighten.

When we dance, we loosen.

Everything else begins to move.

So today, instead of fighting…

I danced.

The floor got mopped.

But more importantly, my spirit got lifted.

And that was my victory.

~

If you enjoyed this article, you might also enjoy this Elephant Classic article: