I was in my early 20s when I first realized that I had experienced trauma.

I became my own therapist in a matter of weeks. I read books, listened to podcasts, and revisited my childhood that had encompassed many dormant wounds.

I could finally understand and examine my actions and reactions that may have been trauma responses. Everything made sense, and healing wasn’t optional; it was necessary.

Yesterday I caught myself getting worked up about something that had bothered me. And just when my mind was about to let go of all the mental annoyances, I held onto them and started having second thoughts.

“Why is my healing taking so long?”

“What’s wrong with me?”

“I should address the root cause of the problem.”

“I must be repressing some disturbing emotions.”

“I need to mentally recover.”

“Why am I pushing down my unresolved traumas?”

I was trying to make sense of my emotions, but I couldn’t. Then I had an epiphany. What if my reaction wasn’t a trauma response? What if it was something else—something simpler?

At that moment, I felt a huge sense of relief. When I stopped overanalyzing my behaviors, I instantly reconnected with myself. I felt light and free. Trying to find unresolved or hidden traumas was such a weight off my shoulders. I felt…human.

The truth is digging for trauma all the time increases our stress levels and overthinking tendencies. Instead of healing, we get stuck in the problem. The consequences might be destructive. Focusing on our problems is necessary, but getting obsessed over them can ruin our lives.

We stop moving forward and end up going backward. Eventually we lose our way just because it has taken us too long to figure out the right path.

If it’s not trauma, what is it then?

Maybe we’re having a difficult moment. It could be as simple as that. When we struggle with a crisis or challenge, it’s normal to react negatively, unpleasantly, or unexpectedly, but our reactions don’t have to be trauma responses; they could be stimulus responses.

Also, maybe it’s a personality trait. Personality traits are consistent behaviors that we display over and over again, and changing them is often difficult since most of them might be inherited.

And maybe, just maybe, we dont know how to react or respond differently. But because we tend to be unhappy and dissatisfied with ourselves and aren’t sure whether our behaviors are okay or not, acceptable or not, normal or not, we blame it on trauma. Trauma appears to be the most rational answer to our “weird” habits.

So let’s pay attention to when it’s necessary to heal and when it’s…not. What’s an effective response to our non-trauma-related moments? What can help us recover?

I have realized that true recovery happens from moment to moment.

It all comes down to how we choose to respond to our current triggers right now. We don’t get stuck in the why; we instantly move forward to the how.

If digging for past traumas is bothering you, stop. There might be no trauma, and even if there is, what’s the point of healing it if the mere thought of it troubles you. Past wounds are supposed to act as bridges that lead us to a brighter future. So if that’s not happening, we should learn to work in the present moment with our unpleasant behaviors.

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