What To Do When Your Self Confidence Is Crashing.

Self Confidence. Some people have it. Some people don’t. Most people, I think, have up’s and down’s in their confidence level. I’m an in-between-er myself. Here are a few things that help me ground and feel good in my skin when I otherwise might lose it.

1. Do something that makes you feel like you!

Do something that you love, where you feel in your element, comfortable, relaxed, and well. For me, it’s as simple as painting my nails. Not kidding. I love sitting on my floor, usually in an awkward position, applying 2-3 coats of pink nail polish, followed by a clear top coat. It’s relaxing, and I get to see something make an impact right away. And I love reading the nail polish color names.

Another thing for me was yoga – where I felt like myself, on my mat, in my studio and community.

I digress. What is something simple that makes you feel like you, in your element? Maybe it’s a walk in the neighborhood, watching a favorite show, or spending time on one of your hobbies. Something where you feel completely yourself, completely comfortable in your own skin.

2.  Plan something special for yourself.

It’s like planning a date…with yourself. Stopping for take-out last minute on your way home from work does not count! I mean something special, like taking yourself out to dinner – but at your favorite restaurant, and choosing our favorite item on the menu – not what is most convenient.

Maybe it’s a special evening at a new park around the corner, or attending a favorite open-mic night. The magic of this is choosing something that is a treat, or something special, to you.

3. Write down 3 things that fill you with gratitude.

I don’t do this often enough. Every time I do it, I am filled with deep love, and deep gratitude. I say 3, because it’s just a starting point. You may find 1 of 2 things. First, you may find that once you start, you realize how much you are grateful for, and your list grows well-beyond 3. Second, you may find that you have such deep gratitude for one thing, that you never need to list another at that moment because your heart is so full.

I mean, maybe you are grateful for your dog, which you write down. But upon thinking about your dog, you realize your dog brings you a sense of companionship, and unconditional love. You realize your dog gets you out of the house to go for walks, and because of this you found a new favorite park, and met your neighbors. You may start thinking of all the times your dog cheered you up after a long day at work. And so on…until you feel so deeply for this one thing that your heart is filled.

4. Try something new.

An interesting way to gain a sense of self is to try something new, and unexpected. Say for example, publishing your writing on Elephant Journal now with a quick turnaround for the experience of the writing exercise! 🙂 Or, signing up for a fitness class you’ve always wanted to try.

It seems like the exact opposite of #1, but if you’ll do it with the right mindset, you can experience a little humility and a feeling of openness, and you might have fun, make memories, or at least have an epic story to tell later.

These are 4 things that help me when I need a self-confidence assist. In fact, I think I’ll go do #3 now. xo

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