January 5, 2016

You Will Always Be.


It was exactly 11:30 p.m. when I turned on the music in my room.

With two braids in my hair and a placid attitude, I sit on my bed with my arms laid rested on my knees.

I must fain to say something. The music was brilliant. The sound of the piano was appropriately delivered to my ears that it transported me to a place that was otherworldly.

With eyes closed, I find myself in a spacious, endless green field. I take a deep breath, behold the blue sky and touch the grass that’s laying below my bare feet.

I gracefully walk with the sound of music into the green field. I loved that field. I felt an inexplicable affinity toward it. Perhaps it reminded me of the color of your eyes. Hitherto, I never had the chance to preside over your irises. But look at me now, I am finally walking down a similar path.

As the music grows louder, I metamorphose into a ballet dancer with loose hair and a white dress. With dynamic movements, jumps and twists, I feel like a bird flapping its wings.

As I was dancing, unconditionally joyous, you appear right in front of me. With a feeble look, I approach your beautiful being. I didn’t expect you to join me in my utopia; although, I would have loved you to be there. I look at your enthralling eyes and move closer to your face.

You hold my face with your hand. Not even remotely interested in what’s around me, I close my eyes and enjoy you. As I start getting closer to kiss your lips, you start to disappear. You begin fading further out into the green field and I begin to franticly search for you.

What happened? I was happily dancing alone. Why did you come? Why did you disappear? Your presence and your uncanny abscence were too unfathomable. All of the sudden you turned into an elusive quest that I failed to conquer. You appeased me for few seconds, then you were gone.

With my hands still resting on my knees, I open my eyes and realize that the music has stopped. Was it a dream? Was it solely my imagination? All I knew is that six minutes had elapsed. My body was in my room but my soul was with you.

I behold my room. You are not there. Insatiable, I craved for your presence, again. But this time, it was impossible. Back to reality, I didn’t have the slightest idea of where you are, who you became, or how you feel.

One thing I was sure of, however, is that the one and only being whom my unconsciousness will bring to life in my imagination, without my consent, will always be.




It’s not You, It’s not Me. It’s Life.


Author: Elyane Youssef

Editor: Caitlin Oriel

Image: Carlos ZGZ/Flickr // Darin Kim/Flickr

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