I don’t know who you are.
I’m not even sure if you exist yet. Perhaps, you are only a fear that lives within the core of my being.
Nevertheless, one of these days, you will cease to be a fear—you will become a reality that I must face.
Maybe you’ll be my worst nightmare. But I know I must accept you. I must accept life.
And so, I write to you.
Perhaps writing will soothe the ache that fails to leave my chest.
You see, we weren’t destined to stay together—he and I. I screwed up a little bit, he screwed up a little bit more and after years of oscillating between the ripples of love and lust, the wave of fate pounded our shore and washed away our story.
They say when one story is ending, another one is being written. And lucky you, yours will be as exquisite as a Shakespeare.
I want you to know that I loved him—and I still do.
Losing him never stopped me from loving him. Loss has nothing to do with love. However, some people are lucky to have loved and not lost, and I believe you will be one of them.
I thoroughly grasp what made you fall in love with him. I mean, what wouldn’t?
I’m sure he will fall in love with you too. I only hope that you drink from the cup of love he served me for years.
Although my fate is to remain thirsty, I can tell you how to love him.
Know that you have a diamond among precious stones. Guard it, keep it, don’t lose it.
Look at his eyes at every given moment. Ah, his eyes—an endless field of grass that can repent sinners of all they did. They can turn demons to angels and fairy tales to reality.
Behold him as you’d behold a Rembrandt and read him as you’d read Poe.
Listen to him like a Beethoven. His words are a map leading your soul to Nirvana.
Run your fingers through his hair day and night. Feel his silky skin and hold his face with both hands.
Be his nature, his stars, his books. Dwell in his silence and lose yourself in the ocean of his arms—trust me, you can never drown there.
Wake him up when you catch a full moon. Don’t worry, he can never be mad at you if you wake his body for a reason that can penetrate his soul.
Watch sunsets and sunrises with him. He will let you hold the fiery sun and help you play with its rays. And just like the sun gives light to the earth, he will give light to your soul.
Fear not the darkness, for he will be your light.
Laugh at his jokes and cry with him if needed. Never refrain from giving all of what you have and all of what you are, because simply and truthfully, he deserves it all.
Sink in the kiss he’ll paint on your forehead in the morning and get lost in the sheets he’ll cover you with while you sleep.
Smell his exhales and breathe with him his inhales. These are the doors to consciousness.
Most of all, dear anonymous lady, love him.
Don’t love him from your mind—the mind is trippy. Don’t love him from your heart as the heart is stupid. Love him from your being.
Find that place within you that whispers “I am” and love him from there.
When you are, he too, will be.
Although I don’t know you, I know what will become of you when you’re with him. You will metamorphose to Venus, the Goddess of love and beauty. You will become Juliette.
You will become all the love in the world.
With him and through him, you will become a more beautiful soul.
I am one because of him. I wouldn’t have known what love is if it weren’t for him.
With a dagger in my heart, I ask you to love him for me. Kiss him for me. Smell his scent for me. While I will be staring at the stars wishing him happiness, you will be living it in his galaxy.
May you never get lost in that galaxy of his.
May you never lose his beautiful being.
Author: Elyane Youssef
Editor: Nicole Cameron
Image: Dahiana Candelo/Unsplash