Life after survival must be a life of self love, but the absence of self love is the entire Spiritual Dilemma.

I was subjected to a love deficiency for many years, and I approached a near extinction level of it. The scantiness of it can caused a variety of alholisms, (I made up this word for unhealthy coping mechanisms) codependency, or seeking some other source to heal the unwanted aspect of me that someone had me believe.

The real problem is the denial of the deficit, and the denial of the need to fill it from an outside source. It is time to be truthful. Truth leads to freedom.

It is time to breath life back into the Heart Space and leave this desolate cavern.

Most Humans on the planet are in a love deficit. Some may subscribe to the belief that an outside source, person, thing has to fill it. This belief creates suffering, anguish, and is a set up for collapse on everything they try to build.

It is foolhardy, impractical, and counterproductive to seek love or Divinity outside of us.

Many are not willing to admit the level of pain and trauma involved with being abandoned in any way. The pain could be so great that most just react and desperately avoid to not relive it. Many are not even aware of their wounds.

My mother in her moments of rage would get close to my ear, her face twisted, and seethe and darkly whisper that I should be ashamed of myself. At this moment she was disgusted by me, and grossly disappointed. When I close my eyes and recall those moments, the pain was unfathomable. The repetitive moments of this over the course of years drove me to do anything not to feel that. I became codependent to survive, lived in robotic unconsciousness and this unconscious behavior drove me to NOT have the exact thing I craved.

Love.

Self Love is not a singular affirmation. It is not pampering ourselves. It isn’t simply journaling a few things you are grateful for, or what you love about yourself. It is not just saying no or eating healthy or exercise. It is NOT speaking lovely words and making claims yet practicing something else.

Self love is self discipline. It is a complete overhaul of anything I have ever done. It is turning the life upside down on itself. It requires a dismantling of the old self and its programming, approving and appreciating yourself regardless of how awkward it feels. It is catching self sabotage, and being honest with it. It is being aware.

It is doing relentless self inquiry. It is being ferociously honest with the self. It is asking the self what our intentions are behind everything we do.

It is consistent claim FOLLOWED by belief, action, and discipline on the daily. It is incessant reminding of the self the value and worth we inherently were born Earthside with.

It is ACCEPTING the truth that we are good enough as we are, that we are our perfect selves. Accepting that we don’t need to prove anything to anyone. That we have ALWAYS been worthy.

It is moving from the Heart Space and the Divine. It is asking-is what I am doing loving right now? Is it kind?

Learning to love the self by connecting with our Divinity addresses the original wound of self hate or abandonment. Most humans have carried wounds from long ago, and we were ruptured spiritually, and emotionally.

With meditation, mindfulness, and self awareness, and most importantly, BEING WILLING TO SEE THINGS DIFFERENTLY, self love illuminates our perceptions and we can now view others in a new light.

This is what happened when I saw my mother differently for the first time. In her moments of hurting me, she was offloading her pain, and her shame. She didn’t know how to behave any other way. With this new sight I was able to see anew, and feel compassion toward her.

To my beloved mother ~who believed love was conditional….I love you. I know that you did your best. You have been the greatest instrument in my Spiritual Awakening. You are pure love behind your pain, and I see you.

The discipline of Self Love is a full time gig. But, the rewards are immense, everlasting, profound, and will bring you happiness.

Love is the language that transcends trauma.

Open your Heart Space. Push the energy of love from that point all over your body. You may have a physical sensation. Then direct it out, to everyone around you.

I dare you.