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March 1, 2020

Emotions of children are real too: Let’s address them before it’s late.

We live in a society where parents (especially mothers in most cases) are known to be the people who are to be respected or rather worshiped. Because they had conceived, carried a life inside their womb for nine months and delivered bearing all the pain. We are taught by the elders around us to respect (and never used a term called love, but they called it respect). And of course, we do! Because they are our parents. But people give us a different version of it always- they have conceived, carried and delivered!!!

The cruel murder of the little Viyaan is a heartbreak to all of us in Kerala (India). It’s an unbelievable story to be known of a mother allegedly killing her baby.. It has given the worst of a visualization anyone could have from the news as reported in the media. Master Viyaan could just be one case that went out to the extreme and could make news. How many stories would be living within the walls of the houses, where children become the poor victims? Abuse against children are often neglected unless it goes beyond those four walls of the house or otherwise it is a sensational bit for the media. All the rest stay as untold stories  within the young hearts and later they grow into frustration or other emotional complications.

These days, old age home is a place where kids are taken from the schools with an intention to cultivate kindness in them. And a media coverage of it with older people adds more to the interest and curiosity of the people. When the mic is given, the poor old people speaks innocently over it that sometimes goes very much against to their children (obviously!!) But did any of the media or the society give a mic to the children staying in the school boarding? Did anyone bother to listen to them? Has anybody shown a little interest to know how they would feel being away from their parents ?? It’s a big emphatic NO !! ‘Coz children are taught ONLY to respect parents and not even given an opportunity to express their emotional needs, even if they have any. Children are expected not to utter a word against the parents who had left them in the hostel, even though they had a home to live and parents who could look after. Then, how can the society show their sympathy towards people living in old age home? Do we really know their story behind being there?? NO !!

We as parents might have different explanation for leaving the kids with the maids/care takers at home or even leaving them in hostels. But have we ever thought from their side? Aren’t we giving them an idea on how they could also manage their responsibility on us in return ? Aren’t we telling them in silence that we have more important things to do than sparing time for them? Then, how can a blame game win with just the parents to have complaints at their old age?

So, let us not be the parent who remind the children of the story of conceiving, carrying and delivering with pain every now and then. Let us be the parent who will be remembered by our children even after our lives. Let us give them the most wanted love and the most essential care they would need so that they would have us in their thoughts even when they become independent and are capable to live their life on their own.

Remember… in our old age, we as parents would get only what we had given to them during their childhood. They could only give us the love, if they had received it abundantly from us. Hence, let’s pay attention to their emotional needs no matter, we are occupied much with our career or whatever that makes the rest of our lives seem to be fulfilling.

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