If you’re struggling, right now, to fully embody the person you would like to be, follow these simple steps and watch yourself and your life begin to bloom:
1. Start by becoming careful of what you speak into existence.
We see the world not as we are but as we believe. Almost everything we see and experience is a projection.
If you walk around all the time saying you’re tired, then your reality will constantly reflect back to you that you’re tired. If you say to others you have no idea what you want in life, then you are speaking that into your existence. Every time I asked my last roommate how she was doing, she would respond with: “I’m so crazy busy.” I watched week after week as she created this reality for herself, running around like a crazy person, creating all of this extremely unnecessary busyness.
My suggestion for you is to begin saying the exact opposite of what you feel like is going on in your life. Speak into existence what you actually want, rather than what you feel like is true for you. So, if you’re struggling with being tired all the time, try telling yourself and others that “you have so much energy, just an abundance of energy.” I don’t care how much resistance you have to doing this; with time, I promise there will be a shift. If you feel like you don’t know what you want in life, start telling yourself: “I have complete clarity on exactly what I want.”
2. Abandon anything that isn’t authentic for what invigorates your soul.
How do you uncover this goldmine? Start by questioning absolutely everything that you do.
Why are you doing yoga? Do you actually like it or are you just letting yourself be programmed to enjoy it because you’re told by society that it’s good for you? Ask yourself honestly: “Do I enjoy my job? Is this my actual dream job or am I settling?” Or how about, “Why do I keep saying yes to hanging out with people when all I want to do is lie in bed and read a book?”
Remember that we can sincerely do whatever we want in life. Whatever we want. We are creators of our universes, so why not do what enlivens us the most in life, all the time?
My teacher Michael Mackintosh always says, “Figure out what you enjoy doing the most in life and cut out the rest.” This is how you create a beautiful life and embody your highest self—because you are no longer living anyone else’s dream, but choosing your own. Start commanding yourself as captain of your ship and steer your life down a beautiful river of effortless fun and enjoyment and endless possibilities.
3. Create a mindset of selfless service.
We really can get a lot of what we want in life by focusing on helping others get what they want.
This was a powerful realization for me.
Get out of your own sh*t and make sure you do something for someone else a least once a day. For it is in giving that we receive. Give selflessly just for the sake of giving, not expecting anything in return. This can bring a sense of lightness into your life.
The other day, my friend was moving and needed some help buying things for his new apartment, and he asked me if I could go to Target with him. My mind immediately shut down the idea, claiming that I had too much to do and that I would be overstimulated in Target. However, I’ve been practicing opening my intuition, and a sign from your intuition that something is aligned is feeling a flutter in your heart space. This is exactly what happened when he asked, so I ignored my rational, ego mind and just went and helped. I spent the next four hours in a significantly higher level of consciousness, or predominantly, a powerful love frequency. My heart was so immensely open at Target, I felt like I was on MDMA. But I wasn’t! I was just serving.
It felt so incredibly good to be in a state of doing something for someone purely just to be of service, and not expecting anything in return. The material world of being in Target also didn’t bother me at all. I didn’t feel overstimulated for a second—I was just walking around in a beautiful bubble of love. It didn’t matter what was going on in the external world; I had made the necessary internal shift.
Entering into this heart space enabled me to get inside the reality of my friend’s world, and I was actually able to gain deep insights into my own struggles as a result of completely stepping into someone else’s universe—a beautiful consequence I unexpectedly received.
To keep my heart open, I now like to wake up in the morning and ask: “Universe, how can I be of service today?” This starts my day off with not only an open heart, but a sense of lightness and purpose, and who doesn’t want more of that?
4. Let your actions reflect who you aspire to be.
I’m really trying to figure out how to do this whole life thing right now, and I spend a lot of energy manipulating my feelings, trying to obey the law of attraction, and keep my “frequency high,” hoping it will attract what I want in life.
However, the other day this was not working. I felt stuck all day and spent hours obsessively trying to shift my feelings with meditation, breathwork, and Abraham Hicks anything. I went to a contact improv dance class later that evening, attempting to dance out all the pent-up frustration I was inwardly holding onto, but nothing seemed to help shift my energy. I eventually went over to the snack area and had a voice inside my head tell me that “I didn’t need to eat anything; I wasn’t hungry.” I listened to this voice and went back dancing.
After this one choice, my entire universe shifted and I felt an immense wave of trust flush in. I began to reflect on my day and realized that all day long I had been giving into temptations and not listening to my highest self, which was trying to guide me to make good decisions. I had told myself I would write for two hours, and I didn’t follow through. I had made a boundary for myself to not look at my phone, and I didn’t listen. It wasn’t until I followed through doing what I told myself I would do that I was able to release the frustration and feel a sense of trust I didn’t even realize I was searching for.
This was a huge lesson on the importance of making sure that the actual choices we make in our physical realities reflect our highest self. You can’t just manipulate your feelings all day long and expect your life to change. Sorry, Abraham.
5. Lastly, make friends with your shadows.
We must shine some light onto our darkness, otherwise it will eventually devour us. In other words, if we keep shoving and repressing and suppressing the aspects of our psyche we don’t want to see and face into our subconscious, they will only grow bigger and stronger and start running our life.
It’s time to look in the mirror and ask: what parts of yourself do you not like? Maybe it’s something small, like the part of you that feels anxious when you dance, or maybe it’s a little bigger, like the part of you that still feels incredibly guilty for something you did 10 years ago.
Our shadows come in all shapes and sizes, but the cure is always the same. Love. That’s it. That’s all our shadow parts need. Just shine some love onto absolutely everything that you despise about yourself and watch how those parts no longer haunt you.
Now, finding your shadows is not always the easiest since 80 percent of our life is run by the subconscious, and that is unfortunately where the demons lie. However, one way to clearly bring awareness to shadows that may be hard to see in ourselves is to begin noticing the aspects of others that bother us. Since we are all mirrors, the parts of others you don’t love or accept can directly reveal the parts of yourself that you don’t love or accept. Judging someone because they talk too much? There is most definitely a part of you that judges yourself for how much you speak. Feel anger toward literally everyone? There is a huge part of you that is angry at yourself and is in need of some love and forgiveness.
Shame was my biggest, scariest shadow for most of my life. I avoided fully feeling and understanding the part of me that felt shameful for my existence at all costs. This caused me to unconsciously project a monumental amount of shame onto my external reality, clouding myself from having a beautiful life experience. What helped really bring this shadow into the light and release it from my being was plant medicine, which forces your subconscious shadow parts to come forward, whether you want them to or not. You can’t do anything but face them.
However, this route isn’t necessary unless you’re looking to go really deep, really fast. If you’re new to shadow work, start with simply being open to bringing awareness to one aspect of yourself you may not want to face. Form a relationship with this new part by treating them as a friend you just want to know a little better, investigating where they came from and slowly begin to accept them. Eventually, you will find the treasure that was always buried underneath, which is your beautiful soul that is you.
Don’t wait until your next lifetime to enjoy your time here on Earth—start embodying your highest self, the person your soul is crying out for you to become, now. And don’t forget to enjoy your journey along the way; healing can also be fun.
If you need some guidance on facing your shadows, making more aligned choices, letting go of what isn’t serving you, and really truly embodying your highest self, please click on my profile. I would love to connect and help support you on your journey.