When you feel lonely and suddenly someone is by your side, it’s a great feeling. What’s on my mind when I feel lonely  is I don’t want to be alone, I have to distract my mind so I don’t overthink and end up stressed.

Today I visited my lil sis and surprised her by suddenly coming to her house. She lives there alone and I can’t always visit her.

To everyone in my real life , they thought she was a successful, brave and reliable young woman. But all they saw of her was only that side of her, because that was what she portrayed.

When I reach her house, I didn’t go straight to her house. I always do my bad habits, surprising them. I rarely inform anyone beforehand if I want to visit them. I just stood by my car and called her.

She sounded bored but there was a hint of excitement in her. I know her too well so there’s nothing she can hide from me.

We decided to drive and eat at a restaurant. There we chatted, hung out and spent a few hours. When in the middle of the road taking her home, before reaching her house, she suddenly said to me “Don’t you still want to share the story about that idiot? Why don’t you keep driving, we’re going around this area”

I didn’t say anything just kept driving. I glanced at him, on her face I can see everything. She just doesn’t want to be alone and she’s happy when I’m with her.

What we do is go around his area, chat while listening to songs,  stop on the side of the road, enjoy the atmosphere, eat at roadside stalls. None of that was a luxury, it was just that togetherness was what she really wanted.

Slowly I could feel how her mood changed. Slowly I could sense that she was starting to calm down and feel at peace.

I know I can’t always be by her side all the time but I also know that it’s my responsibility to take care of her. All I can do is try my best to always be by her side when she needs help.

At least when that sense of security has begun to emerge and her anxiety subsides, I feel relieved. Reassure her that I will always be there for her even if maybe not every day, I will continue to do that as best I can.

I know that feeling of loneliness and I really don’t like it when it starts to come. I don’t want those around me to have to suffer because of it. It was all because I knew how bad it would be if the feeling started to recur.

What you see is not necessarily the real thing. It could be that they are hiding it from you and pretending everything is fine. When in fact their feelings, their hearts are in a state of chaos. They just don’t want to be a burden to other people. They don’t want to trouble other people by pretending to be strong all the time.