I didn’t acknowledge the vacancy you left in my souls when you decided I was your property. Instead of being able to live my life “normally”, I was busy blaming myself and punishing myself, wondering what I did wrong and what I could have done differently while spiraling deeper into a hole. You left me feeling so damaged and so unloveable, so out of control and somehow so deserving of what you put me though. Trying to cope with feelings of violation, guilt, anxiety and emptiness. Continuously trying to make myself smaller in hopes that if I shrank myself into invisibility, nothing like this would ever happen again. You took my body away, my home, my vessel for life and even after you were gone you continued to take. You made my body my enemy and left me with an impossible decision to make that would affect my life forever. I forgot how to eat, I forgot how to sleep, I forgot how to breathe, I forgot how to be. I have been trying to find my way back ever since. You don’t get to breathe anymore and I’m a lot of ways that’s unfair- you got the east way out because you couldn’t deal with what your life was and I’m left to forever continue to piece myself back together. The good news is I AM doing that piecing. And healing is in everyday and every moment. My body is MY home again, it belongs to ME and there’s NO SPACE ;9( you anymore.