I have given you too much of myself.

You were never my job, you were my heart. Yes I collected a paycheck at the end of the week for the care I gave you, but care is not a job.

Care is giving you my heart.  There is no care detached from heart.

I gave you my heart to gain your trust. I did this to help you heal.

I worked hard for years to learn how to heal you.   Each time we met I listened well.  Always patient, kind,  and caring. It was never about me, always you – and that is exactly how it was supposed to be. Caring for you was the job that I was paid to do, and I did this from the core of my being.  I equipped you with ideas, inspiration, medication and all the knowledge I could for you to be well and live your best life.

But at some point, I gave too much.  It wasn’t your fault, in fact it didn’t have anything to do with you.  It was partly my fault for caring too well, and partly the fault of the system that required too much of me.  But despite the reasons why, caring for you emptied me and my inner light is burning out. Now, I need to conserve what embers I have left to work with and figure out how to rekindle the flame.

Understand that it isn’t easy to break your heart—the heart that trusted me.  The one that I gave so much of myself to gain.

Understand that this is my identity and by turning away from healing, I am turning away from the very thing that was me. The same fire that nearly consumed me.

I am stepping out of myself because I am burning out.